Tag Archives: vomit

“Jaw With John” – Not Enough Cooks In The Kitchen

My husband, children and I moved in with my in-laws. It has been a learning experience. The hardest part is that my mother-in-law cooks with old, sometimes moldy produce and expired canned goods.

I have gotten sick a few times and it’s just not OK with me. I’m not “allowed” to say anything because it could “hurt her feelings.”

My mother-in-law is always treated with kid gloves, and no one allows anything negative to be said to her, so I would be “completely out of line” if I said anything.

We alternate cooking dinner, so at least I get clean food half the time. What do you suggest I do or say so that I’m not forced into eating rancid food while not looking like a monster? — Scared To Eat

Dear Scared:

Look at it this way: this could be the best diet ever!

Perhaps if you were to spew while you’re eating and then bring up the fact that it was because of the rancid produce it could change her perception on her cooking. That’s a visceral image and if it were to happen multiple times – not all by you or else you’d damage your esophagus – then I’m preeeeeetty sure she’d get the message.

Or, you could just throw out the expired foods before she got to them and when she comes around asking about them you’d tell her you threw them out because they had expired. From there you could go to the market and find some stuff you both like/will eat. Or she’ll blow up at you and kick you out or whatever…

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“Jaw With John” – Now Dasher, Now Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, On Vomit, On Cupid…Wait, what?

My family drove six hours to visit family members over Christmas.

Upon arrival, we were informed that one of their children had been ill with the stomach bug since the day before.

We ended up spending the holiday with their entire family (including three kids, both parents and a grandparent) sick and running to the bathroom. Once home, all three of my children got the stomach bug. My wife and I will get it soon, no doubt.

Is it wrong of me to be extremely upset with the family we visited for not notifying us immediately when their first child fell ill so WE could decide if we should visit? I feel it was disrespectful to keep that information from us. Once when one of ours was sick we called to let them know and they chose to postpone their visit.

Obviously, if sickness unexpectedly befalls after arrival, it’s bad luck. However, I feel as though we are all now unnecessarily suffering due to their selfish desire not to miss out on a Christmas visit.

Any advice? — Furious Dad

Dear Furious:

I am sure that the family thought that the bug might just be a 24-hour thing and that’s why they failed to inform you the day before. Having said that, they most definitely could’ve told you somewhere along the 6-hour trip over there – hopefully on the outset and not within the last hour – that way you could’ve planned accordingly. Ultimately, this shit happens ALL THE TIME. There is no use getting furious over it. Accept it, drink some fluids, rest, make a few trips to the can and you’ll be feeling like a champ in no time!

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