Tag Archives: The Joker

“Jaw With John” – Follow-Up To Being Excluded

I have a story like “Torn’s,” whose best friend excluded Torn’s wife from a party invitation.

When we were dating, my husband introduced me to his best friend and the friend’s wife. He told them we were serious and would likely marry. The wife then issued several party invitations to my then-boyfriend, specifically excluding me. Regardless of whatever reasons she had for her behavior, we were a couple and expected to be treated as such. We did not attend the parties (and the friendship soon ended). — B

Dear B:

I approve. This behavior is not something that should be tolerated and to nip it in the bud, sometimes, the “friendship” must end.

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“Jaw With John” – Marilynsanity

My uncle’s wife, “Marilyn,” is very difficult. She invites herself to other peoples’ Facebook accounts, tells humiliating stories about others and keeps tabs on other people’s private information.

She has been passive-aggressively taunting me for being single after my very difficult breakup with a girlfriend. I have not been in a stable relationship since my breakup, but both of my younger brothers have significant others, and Marilyn throws this in my face. She has also done this to those who have lost spouses and are still grieving, upsetting them deeply.

Marilyn even invited my ex-girlfriend to a private family gathering where she didn’t belong. My ex attended and was provocatively dressed (I feel just to embarrass me), and was revealing her reputation for shameless promiscuity.

My uncle can’t control Marilyn’s behavior. This type of harassment even got her slapped with a no-contact order by a family member, which she was clearly asking for.

How do I make it clear that I do not appreciate this type of humiliation and disrespect without resorting to such legal restraint? — Alienated Nephew

Dear Nephew:

Your Aunt sounds like a bitch. A bitch who wants nothing more than to stir up controversy and see how others react with no regards to their feelings. AKA a psychopath.

When I think of your aunt I’m reminded of what Alfred said when he was describing The Joker in The Dark Knight: “Because some [wo]men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some [wo]men just want to watch the world burn.”

When it comes to Facebook you can block, unfollow, or simply unfriend your aunt so she can’t see what you’re up to anymore and limit who can see your information, posts, etc. It is also possible to delete her posts. If you want to be passive aggressive right back to her you could do that. You seem averse to talking to her directly. So, beyond telling your aunt freeze bitch, there’s not much else you can do here.

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“Jaw With John” – Online Dating Keeps Giving Him 404 Error

Why do so many women play games on these dating sites? I have to laugh when I read their profiles and they say, “I’m real!”

Why lie? You have to be completely honest. Why do all the women go for the Tom Cruises and the Brad Pitts of the world? They pass up good guys! — A Good Guy

Dear Good Guy:

You laugh when they say “I’m real”. I laugh when I see things like “I love traveling”, “I’m easy-going” “I’m really down to Earth” or “I like guys taller than 6 feet.” Saying “I’m real” is the equivalent of those first three phrases. I have seen those words on profiles from Match to Tinder to OK Cupid. And I laugh at the first three because they are so generic and reveal nothing about the person and in turn makes them even more boring. I laugh at the last one because those women are height supremacists. They are shallow enough to say that they wouldn’t go out with a guy – who might be everything that they’re looking for – because of his height. I have no problem with taller women. It doesn’t matter to me, but some women can’t get past their insecurity of being taller than their man.

I’m not going to lie to you Good Guy, if Brad Pitt came up to me – a straight man – and said “John, let’s get outta here and start our life together” I would definitely think it over. But that’s another story.

Those women who are chasing the unobtainable man are nothing more than a dog chasing cars. They wouldn’t know what to do if they caught it. They tend to pass on the “good guys” because they have this idea of their ideal man. And men do this too. We pine after the Jennifer Lawrence’s and Marion Cotillard’s of the world with no real hope of ever coming in contact with them. Or we have a certain body type or hair color that we find necessary in our partner. It goes both ways.

My advice is to just be yourself and be honest because the women who find you interesting and attractive will find you.

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“Jaw With John” – Upset The Established Order And Everything Becomes Chaos

My fiancee and I have been arguing about a party her mother hosts annually just after the holidays. This gathering is called “The Letter Reading Party.” Guests bring their favorite letters/holiday cards from “friends” who update “friends” with what’s new in their lives. Topics range from children to siblings, parents, family pet, work, etc.

A roomful of people laugh hysterically at other people’s letters — the font size, stationery choice and, most significantly, contents of the letter.

I find this entire party repulsive. I admire and respect many of the people in the room who double over in laughter. My future mother-in-law insists it’s a great reason to get together. However, I think I know how the authors would feel if they knew their personal lives were being trivialized and mocked so openly by one of their “friends.”

Should I continue my crusade to stop this irreverent party on the heels of the feel-good holiday season? — Irreverent and Irritated

Dear Irritated:

I don’t always condone this but I am going to make an exception this time.

I want you to invoke your inner Joker. Heath Ledger Joker that is.

Take their little plan and turn it on itself.

I want you to take one, scratch that – MANY, of their cards to the party and read them aloud in front of them. Disguise it in a way so it looks like someone else’s card and then read their card aloud. Laugh sadistically as you read their words of holiday cheer aloud. Give them a taste of their own medicine. The only way these people will understand the gravity of what they are doing is by shoving it right down their throats.

“[You’re] not a monster. [You’re] just ahead of the curve.”

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