Tag Archives: The Dark Knight

“Jaw With John” – 9-Year-Old Cannot Be Reasoned With When It Comes To Good Habits

My 9-year-old daughter has several friends whom we love and who are good buddies for her. However, the rules in their homes are different from those at ours. One friend in particular, “Sarah,” eats a lot of junk food and watches more TV than we allow. When my daughter asks why she can’t have chips and ice cream after school, or why we watch movies only on weekends, I remind her that good food and exercise make her healthy, and with less TV she does better in school.

I’m not interested in critiquing Sarah or her family, who are lovely people we really like. However, I do want to make the connection between unhealthy lifestyle choices and possible consequences because this is a subject we’ll keep revisiting as my daughter grows up.

I have been trying to say things like, “Everyone makes their own decisions. This is why we do it this way,” but at 9, my daughter sees things as pretty black or white. If our way is right, then their way must be wrong. I’m totally failing at subtlety. Is there a better approach that I could take to talking about this without invoking comparisons? — LIFESTYLE CHOICES IN SOUTH DAKOTA

Dear Lifestyle Choices,

There is no reasoning with a 9-year-old! Doi!

Because some [children] aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some [children] just want to watch the world burn.” OK, not really, but I just like that quote from¬†The Dark Knight¬†and felt like playing around with it for this response.

I remember growing up I had to go across the street to my friend Thomas’ house to play PlayStation or Virtual Boy (I’m dating myself here, whatever). I had asked for a gaming system for years and years but was repeatedly denied because my parents wanted me to focus on school and playing with friends and being outside and blah blah blah. (I did have a Game Boy, by the way, so that kept me occupied)

The lesson here is that every parent parents their child’s behavior and actions differently. You need to be firm with your daughter and tell her why you are making the choices you are. Because, let’s face it, you are looking out for her best interests so that, in the long run, she can be healthy and develop good habits. You are her parent, not her friend, tell her what’s what and stick to your guns!

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“Jaw With John” – Marilynsanity

My uncle’s wife, “Marilyn,” is very difficult. She invites herself to other peoples’ Facebook accounts, tells humiliating stories about others and keeps tabs on other people’s private information.

She has been passive-aggressively taunting me for being single after my very difficult breakup with a girlfriend. I have not been in a stable relationship since my breakup, but both of my younger brothers have significant others, and Marilyn throws this in my face. She has also done this to those who have lost spouses and are still grieving, upsetting them deeply.

Marilyn even invited my ex-girlfriend to a private family gathering where she didn’t belong. My ex attended and was provocatively dressed (I feel just to embarrass me), and was revealing her reputation for shameless promiscuity.

My uncle can’t control Marilyn’s behavior. This type of harassment even got her slapped with a no-contact order by a family member, which she was clearly asking for.

How do I make it clear that I do not appreciate this type of humiliation and disrespect without resorting to such legal restraint? — Alienated Nephew

Dear Nephew:

Your Aunt sounds like a bitch. A bitch who wants nothing more than to stir up controversy and see how others react with no regards to their feelings. AKA a psychopath.

When I think of your aunt I’m reminded of what Alfred said when he was describing The Joker in The Dark Knight: “Because some [wo]men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some [wo]men just want to watch the world burn.”

When it comes to Facebook you can block, unfollow, or simply unfriend your aunt so she can’t see what you’re up to anymore and limit who can see your information, posts, etc. It is also possible to delete her posts. If you want to be passive aggressive right back to her you could do that. You seem averse to talking to her directly. So, beyond telling your aunt freeze bitch, there’s not much else you can do here.

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“Jaw With John” – Upset The Established Order And Everything Becomes Chaos

My fiancee and I have been arguing about a party her mother hosts annually just after the holidays. This gathering is called “The Letter Reading Party.” Guests bring their favorite letters/holiday cards from “friends” who update “friends” with what’s new in their lives. Topics range from children to siblings, parents, family pet, work, etc.

A roomful of people laugh hysterically at other people’s letters — the font size, stationery choice and, most significantly, contents of the letter.

I find this entire party repulsive. I admire and respect many of the people in the room who double over in laughter. My future mother-in-law insists it’s a great reason to get together. However, I think I know how the authors would feel if they knew their personal lives were being trivialized and mocked so openly by one of their “friends.”

Should I continue my crusade to stop this irreverent party on the heels of the feel-good holiday season? — Irreverent and Irritated

Dear Irritated:

I don’t always condone this but I am going to make an exception this time.

I want you to invoke your inner Joker. Heath Ledger Joker that is.

Take their little plan and turn it on itself.

I want you to take one, scratch that – MANY, of their cards to the party and read them aloud in front of them. Disguise it in a way so it looks like someone else’s card and then read their card aloud. Laugh sadistically as you read their words of holiday cheer aloud. Give them a taste of their own medicine. The only way these people will understand the gravity of what they are doing is by shoving it right down their throats.

“[You’re] not a monster. [You’re] just ahead of the curve.”

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