Tag Archives: Territorial

“Jaw With John” – Are You Barking Mad?

My wife and I will soon be first-time grandparents, because our son and his wife are expecting. The problem is their dog.

When they met, his then-girlfriend had a “rescue” dog. As far as I can tell, this dog is vicious and completely out of control.

My son has been bitten at least twice, and the only times I have ever gotten close to the dog it attacked me. When company comes over, the dog is locked in the garage.

Our concern is what happens when they bring the baby home. “Oh, she’s just territorial” is the excuse we hear. Territorial? Wait until a new pet human shows up.

They have several nieces, ranging in age from 1 to 6. We live several states away. Would it be reasonable to ask for photos of the dog playing with the nieces as proof that this dog is safe with children?

We’ve also considered calling the other grandparents, but everyone spends all their energy keeping my son’s wife as happy as she can be.

We have talked about calling child welfare if it appears they plan to let the new baby and the dog live in the same house.

If we do that it would certainly destroy any future relationship, but someone has to have some sense. — Grandparent Prepared to Call CPS

Dear Grandparent:

You sound like a cat person.

Is “it reasonable to ask for photos of the dog playing with the nieces as proof that this dog is safe with children?” No. It’s entirely unreasonable. They don’t have to show you anything. Just because the dog doesn’t interact well with you doesn’t mean it doesn’t with others. Dogs can be picky. And as a rescue dog, they need more time to adjust to their new surroundings because they may only known a certain, awful, way of life.

What right do you have to call child protective services if they let the dog and baby live in the same house? None. It’s their dog and their baby. They will deal with it on their own terms. Any action you take regarding CPS will only hurt your relationship with you son and daughter-in-law.

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“Jaw With John” – Girlfriend Has Marked Her Territory

I have recently found myself in a sticky situation with my boyfriend. We met six months ago through a mutual (female) friend. This person is my roommate — and my boyfriend’s best friend.

From the beginning I was proactive about not putting her in the middle of our relationship because I didn’t want to harm any of our friendships.

I had suspicions that they were conversing about our relationship, even though he has told me that he doesn’t tell her things about us.

I went snooping into his phone to satisfy my suspicions and found a mountain of texts about me between the two of them.

Most of the texts were harmless, but a few were alarming because of what he said about needing space from me. He said I’ve become too territorial.

When talking with him he denies wanting alone time and diminishes any fear of my being clingy.

Since I’ve gotten myself stuck between two very different opinions, what do I do? Should I let it go and hope he’s honest with me, or confront his dishonesty?

— Sadly Stuck

Dear Stuck:

The very fact that you were snooping implies that you are territorial. So you lose that battle. Sidebar: Doesn’t anyone lock their phone anymore?!? How does this keep happening to people? Someone can easily open their phone, read their messages and/or emails…what?!?

Relationships are personal and you want to keep it as such. Your boyfriend obviously needed someone to vent to and tell things that might’ve been bothering him at the time. Maybe they’re not bothering him anymore, or else words would have been exchanged. He clearly values this friends opinion and wanted to share his thoughts with someone he has known a long time AND lives with his girlfriend. Because she has insight into your mind as not only your friend but as a roommate too.

In the grand scheme of things, did he say anything that was defamatory? Since you’re focusing on him saying that he needs some space, I am going to to go ahead and assume that the answer is “No.” If that’s the case then you can take a step back and examine your relationship and see if you are being clingy and territorial (because it sounds like you are).

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