Tag Archives: sister in law

Dear John: When In Florida, Avoid Your In-Laws

My husband’s horrible sisters have invited themselves to our home in Florida. They hate me. One’s husband sexually assaulted me five years ago. When I had her come and get him (he was drunk), she accused me of making it up! (She saw it happen.)

The other sister has never invited us over for dinners or special events. She’s extremely obese and will break our furniture if she sits on it.

We are in our 70s, live modestly and can’t afford this selfish intrusion. My husband says, “But they’re my sisters!” Please help me get out of this. — LOOKING FOR PEACE

Dear Looking,

First question: Are you married to someone in The Klumps?

Second question: Would you even want to go over to your sister-in-law’s home for dinner? Sounds like you just want to cut her out completely.

There is one way to get out of this: divorce. JK, you seem to actually love your husband, just not the rest of his family. You can politely excuse yourself when they arrive by letting your husband know “Hey Todd, I’m gonna take a girl’s weekend with Muriel and Florence while your sisters are in town.” Boom. It’s that easy. You can even fake going away with people and just go do something fun for yourself!

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“Jaw With John” – She’s Unreasonable AND Hates Harry Potter…Yikes

My husband’s sister-in-law’s posts on Facebook are extremely offensive, insulting and aggressive, often personally directed at those who do not agree with her. She is bigoted, mean and always angry.

After multiple gentle attempts to explain how her words made her sound, I eventually “unfriended” and blocked her. I am not alone in our family in doing so. She now pointedly snubs me and these others at family gatherings. As she was always unpredictable and occasionally offensive in person as well, I feel no loss, but my husband is uncomfortable and wants me to “make up” with her.

This is a woman who has called me a “witch” for allowing my kids contact with Harry Potter books/movies, says my gay friends are inhabited by “familial demons,” accuses my daughter’s Muslim employer of being a terrorist, proudly calls herself an anarchist, says she is ready to shoot anyone who is not “on her side of the fence” with her gun (she really has one) and so on.

If anyone actually tries to engage with her, she will spam them with emails and text messages. I believe she may be mentally ill. My husband says, regardless, “family is family.”

When we have visited his brother and her in the past, he would go off with his brother and have a nice time, leaving me alone with this nut job to walk on proverbial eggshells. Since the Facebook incident, and her ensuing snub, I am relieved to be unburdened of the connection. I have told my husband he is welcome to visit his long-suffering brother solo. Am I being unreasonable? — Free at Last

Dear Free:

Muggles. Am I right????

You’re perfectly within your right here. Now it’s time for you to step back, and away, from her. If she is that important to your husband then he can go and spend time with her. You’ve done your part and frankly, the people who think that exposing a child to Harry Potter is a bad thing deserve zero in return. That’s asinine.

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“Jaw With John” – Think Of The Children!

If a married woman answers the door wearing only a bath towel when her husband’s brother (who happens to be married to me) is at the door and her husband is not at home, is that appropriate?

She shows no regard for modesty. In her yard she will carelessly bend over in a loose-fitting tank top (bra-less, of course), not even trying to hold up the neck to spare those in her presence the view.

My husband and I have argued over this issue, and everyone knows my sentiments on this “misconduct.”

I feel this behavior is disrespectful to me. My husband should consider my feelings and honor me by telling her that this conduct is inappropriate. When I suggested that he tell her that her behavior is offensive and unwelcome, he became defensive and said that I was behaving jealously.

Am I crazy because I have a “problem” with this? — BS

Dear BS:

She sounds rather busty or else this wouldn’t be much of an issue.

She’s obviously very, very comfortable in her own skin and is willing to share it with the world. My concern here is that she’s not wearing a bra. Studies have shown that not wearing a bra could lead to back problems. You could slip some scoliosis literature under her door to send a message.

Or you could just outright tell her that she needs to cover up, but I do believe that you should be the one to her. If your husband were to do so it might not come out right and it could look as if he’s creeping on her/checking her out. She may then take that as a sign of flirtation and invitation to bed him OR she could call him a pervert and out him to her husband. She could do the same to you but it seems like she only plays for one team here.

And if those options are not your cup of tea, you could go all Helen Lovejoy:

 

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“Jaw With John” – Aunt Is A Regular Sue Storm

In yesterday’s mail we received a birth announcement of a new great-nephew, addressed only to my husband.

Christmas cards, wedding announcements, birth announcements, thank-you cards — anything coming from his sister and her children all are addressed only to him.

The most mention I ever get is “and Family.” One wedding invitation actually came to “Uncle John and Family.” Our children are grown so presumably I’m the nameless “Family.”

I buy the presents and sign the cards and checks. There’s no animosity between us. I’ve known the kids since birth and they are all nice people. But each omission makes me feel, well, a bit unwanted.

I’m tempted to have only my husband sign the card that I bought before the announcement arrived. I want him to tell his sister that this makes me feel sad and left out. He doesn’t see it as an issue and thinks I should ignore it, but he also says that since it bothers me, I should tell her myself.

What’s your take? — The Invisible Aunt

Dear Invisible:

Listen to your husband here and talk directly to his sister. I know what it’s like to be slighted, albeit in a different manner.

It was Christmas, the family was opening presents and we had decided to open gifts from a certain friend all at the same time. All the gifts were neatly and elegantly wrapped and there was a note saying that the gifts were all from a recent trip to Africa … except for me. I got a calendar. I looked around and said, to myself, There was nothing in Africa that could be for me? Not one thing? I moved on and now it’s a pretty decent joke I can tell. Your situation is different but similar.

You know you need to bring this to the attention of your brother’s sister otherwise it will continue. Being passive aggressive with the notes and gifts won’t solve anything. Ask your sister-in-law “What’s up?” because unlike my calendar, your feelings won’t go away after January 1st.

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“Jaw With John” – Baby, Baby, Baby Ohhhhhh

My fiance and I have been together for five years. We have a son who is almost 2 years old. We have always talked about having at least one more baby.

My sister-in-law got pregnant (she’ll be having a boy), so I didn’t want to get pregnant and take the spotlight off her first pregnancy. I wanted her time to be special and threw a baby shower for her.

Yesterday my pregnant sister-in-law and I spent the whole day together, and I helped her set up her nursery. Last night I went home and I told my fiance about my day and then we got to talking about having another baby. We asked our son if he wanted a sibling and he said yes. (I know he probably doesn’t know what we are talking about.)

Would it be wrong of me to start trying to get pregnant? We want to give my sister-in-law her time to shine, but helping her yesterday made me realize how badly I wanted another baby. — Lady with Baby Blues

Dear Lady:

No, it wouldn’t be wrong. If you were pregnant at the same time it’d be a little like Father of the Bride Part II where Diane Keaton and Kimberly Williams were pregnant at the same time … minus the Martin Short hijinks. Even if you were to get pregnant right now you would still have few months of a buffer between you and your sister-in-law. You’re kind to let her have her moment in the sun but don’t let her stop you from adding to your family if you want to. I am sure she would be happy for you, and if she wasn’t then that’s her problem.

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