My daughter recently informed me that she has met someone and the someone happens to be a woman. My reaction was, of course, shock and anger, although I have kind of suspected over the years that she is a lesbian.
She is 43 and was married for 10 years. She has two children and has been divorced for about 11 years now. She dated a few guys, but either had no luck with them or it didn’t last.
I don’t know how to handle this because I’m against people being gay. I see it as unnatural and think they all have issues. I don’t treat gay people any different from anyone else, but I do keep them at a distance. Now I don’t know how to proceed with our relationship. Please help. — SHOCKED AND ANGRY MOM
“I’m against people being gay.” So, you’re saying you’re intolerant. Even going so far as to admit that you “keep them at a distance.” Wow. So much fear and malice flows through your body. I feel sorry for your closed worldview. Gay people are no different than heterosexual, pansexual, or bisexual people.
Your daughter was living a life that wasn’t truly her life because she was not out and open with her sexuality. This is who your daughter is, a lesbian. And you cannot now claim shock when you say you suspected it over the years. You just didn’t want it to be true because of your view of gay people. Your remark about her having no luck or it not lasting with guys she dated is very troublesome. She had “no luck” because she wasn’t into dating men!
You need to apologize to your daughter, hope for forgiveness and a dialogue to start because all she has done is become her true self and now she can live the life that she wants to live.