Tag Archives: Roommate

“Jaw With John” – Basket Case

I’m a college student on a campus where bikes are widely used, and I lent my bike to my roommate to use while I was away. She texted me, saying that she just got back to campus from a short break home and realized my bike had been stolen. Eventually she found the bike, but the basket had been removed.

Obviously I’m very glad it was found. Do I have the right to ask her to replace the stolen basket? It wasn’t cheap, and I feel like since it was taken under her watch she should replace it. I don’t want to be petty about it. We’re great roommates. What would be the best way to bring it up? — Conflicted”

Dear Conflicted:

She owes you a new basket plain and simple. The fact that she didn’t already offer to buy you a new one tells me that she doesn’t know she should buy you one.

It’s very simple: you can send her a link to the place where you originally bought the basket or she can buy something similar from Amazon or wherever. As long as you’re happy with the basket choice then all should be golden.

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“Jaw With John” – Girlfriend Has Marked Her Territory

I have recently found myself in a sticky situation with my boyfriend. We met six months ago through a mutual (female) friend. This person is my roommate — and my boyfriend’s best friend.

From the beginning I was proactive about not putting her in the middle of our relationship because I didn’t want to harm any of our friendships.

I had suspicions that they were conversing about our relationship, even though he has told me that he doesn’t tell her things about us.

I went snooping into his phone to satisfy my suspicions and found a mountain of texts about me between the two of them.

Most of the texts were harmless, but a few were alarming because of what he said about needing space from me. He said I’ve become too territorial.

When talking with him he denies wanting alone time and diminishes any fear of my being clingy.

Since I’ve gotten myself stuck between two very different opinions, what do I do? Should I let it go and hope he’s honest with me, or confront his dishonesty?

— Sadly Stuck

Dear Stuck:

The very fact that you were snooping implies that you are territorial. So you lose that battle. Sidebar: Doesn’t anyone lock their phone anymore?!? How does this keep happening to people? Someone can easily open their phone, read their messages and/or emails…what?!?

Relationships are personal and you want to keep it as such. Your boyfriend obviously needed someone to vent to and tell things that might’ve been bothering him at the time. Maybe they’re not bothering him anymore, or else words would have been exchanged. He clearly values this friends opinion and wanted to share his thoughts with someone he has known a long time AND lives with his girlfriend. Because she has insight into your mind as not only your friend but as a roommate too.

In the grand scheme of things, did he say anything that was defamatory? Since you’re focusing on him saying that he needs some space, I am going to to go ahead and assume that the answer is “No.” If that’s the case then you can take a step back and examine your relationship and see if you are being clingy and territorial (because it sounds like you are).

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“Jaw With John” – You’ve Never Peed In The Sink?

I walked into the bathroom at 5 a.m. today to find my husband standing in the dark, urinating into the bathroom sink. He said he was “in a hurry.” The toilet was right behind him. He acts like it’s no big deal.

I’ve dropped my pills in the sink and retrieved them; I wash my face in there, etc. Now I don’t even want to use the sink. What can I say to him or what can I do to make him stop? — Revolted

Dear Revolted:

This isn’t a big deal. Trust me.

When I was in college I would often pee in my sink because I didn’t want to walk to the bathroom and deal with the bright hallway lights that would wake me up. I would run the water, pee and then coat the sink with dish soap and then with some Clorox or something similar to cleanse it some more. But never while my roommate was around, because that would be weird.

You do realize that people pee in showers right? Thus, your feet (and maybe your entire body if it’s a tub/shower combo) are, possibly, in some amount of pee…and other bodily fluids too…just saying.

Listen, it’s not something that I would do regularly or actively condone but sometimes it happens. I would only do it if I was in dire straits, super tired or drunk and but I think you only need to worry about it if you catch him doing it regularly. Otherwise, break out the bleach and clean until you feel better. Or have him catch you peeing in the sink and see what happens. He might be impressed.

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“Jaw With John” – You Love Lamp

I recently left a difficult living situation, sharing a house with two roommates.

About two months before I moved out, one of my roommates asked if I would like a lamp that her friend was giving away. She had eyes on another lamp this friend was getting rid of and offered to bring both home, giving one to me. I loved the lamp and thanked her profusely.

Shortly thereafter I moved out, taking my things (including the lamp) with me.

Said roommate contacted me a month later. She said she never intended to give me the lamp and that she would like to have it back.

I am not sure how our understanding of the situation came to be so different, and I am struggling to find a moral high road. — Between a Lamp and a Hard Place

Dear Lamp:

She offered you the lamp. You accepted. She gave you the lamp. End of story.

Does she not remember this interaction? Seriously, ask her if she remembers that you had that discussion and that she GAVE YOU THE LAMP. If she fights you and now wants it back, then you’ll need to decide if you want the lamp that badly. I think you do, it sounds like an awesome lamp. I have one next to my bed that I LOVE. I know how you feel. Don’t give in to your friend. She gave you the lamp, you should keep it.

 

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“Jaw With John” – Unfaithful Roommate Has Made His Bed

I recently found out that my roommate cheated on his girlfriend with one of our co-workers. He did this two times!

When I confronted him about his unfaithfulness he was honest and forthcoming. He also told his girlfriend (who lives in another country) and she decided to stay with him and work things out.

However, he still hangs out with the “other woman” on a one-on-one basis and she comes over to the apartment and lies on his bed with him.

I told him this is wrong and unfair to his girlfriend. I don’t want to keep challenging him on this, but I’m not sure what else I can do. — Trying to Stay Loyal

Dear Loyal:

He’s not going to change so why waste your breath? Let him reap what he sows when and if his actual girlfriend returns. You’ve done the honorable thing already in confronting him yet he has kept on doing what he’s been doing. Stop trying.

You can always give this “other woman” the stink eye or glare at her whenever she is over. You could try that…but that’s not going to change anything. She’s just as bad as he is. He’s living in a burning house but hasn’t smelled the smoke or felt the heat. He’s oblivious and should be left to burn.

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