There is a 31-year-old woman who has been a part of our family since she was a teenager. She and my kids grew up together and they are still good friends.
Her parents are good friends of my wife and me. She is Phi Beta Kappa and graduated magna cum laude from a good college. She has a postgraduate degree from a very prestigious university.
She is in a job she’s had for eight years. She currently makes more than $80,000 a year and is extremely secure.
By an absolutely bizarre twist of fate, I just found out she has been acting in hardcore pornographic videos for the last year, distributed by one of (what I understand is) the biggest production companies in that business. There were 10 pages of her videos when I Googled her stage name.
I am in shock. I am so afraid for her future if her employer, or someone else, makes the same discovery. She’s an adult and is free to make her choices, but if someone makes the connection, in this internet-fueled world, it will follow her for the rest of her life. I’m afraid she’ll lose her job and never be taken seriously as a professional again. I’m afraid for her health and safety.
I have not talked to anyone about this. Whom (if anybody) should I tell? Should I just shut up and let the chips fall where they may? We all love this girl very much, and I’m heartsick. What is the right thing to do?
— Worried Friend
“By an absolutely bizarre twist of fate” my ass! You were looking up porn, my man! No need to hide it. It’s OK.
First things first, It’s none of your business. She’s a grown woman who is making her own decisions about her life. She is being safe and is able to balance both of her lives WITHOUT YOU. You are not responsible for her in any way shape or form. It is her life.
Secondly, you’re a creeper.
You list all of these accomplishments she’s received over the years as if that’s supposed to tilt me in your favor. What a loaded question you’ve asked. People can be super successful and want to do other things in their lives. This other thing happens to be porn. Now, before I tell you to pound sand once more I have to ask, what’s her stage name?