Tag Archives: Neighbor Privacy

Dear John: Woman Wants No Tan Lines, Neighbors Might Want To See How That’s Achieved

I have really nice neighbors, and we are always pleasant to each other. We put up a large above-ground pool in our backyard, and they put up a trampoline.

I would like to enjoy our pool (how to put this delicately?) without tan lines. I do not want to offend them or expose myself to their teenage son when he’s jumping on their trampoline. Is there a tactful way to ask them to move the trampoline since there is no other way to stay discreet in my own backyard? — NO TAN LINES

Dear No Tan Lines:

Oh my god! Tramapoline! Trambopoline!

How…how tall is this trampoline? Is it like the Bank Hotel from Ocean’s 13? Because that would be one HELL of a trampoline!

One suggestion: Build a taller fence. You really don’t want to ask the neighbors to move their trampoline and then give your actual answer because then it might get back to the same teenage son you’re trying to avoid and he might then sneak out there and try and see what you’ve got hiding under your clothes. I speak from experience of being a teenage boy.

You can definitely ask them to move it on account of your privacy. And if that doesn’t work then maybe look in to some alternative ways to get no tan lines.

Whatever solution you reach, please wear sunscreen! Per skincancer.org: “While it is not the most common of the skin cancers, [melanoma] causes the most deaths. In 2016, an estimated 76,380 of these will be invasive melanomas, with about 46,870 in males and 29,510 in women.

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