Tag Archives: kids

“Jaw With John” – I Don’t Care Who You Have A Crush On, Seriously

Why is it that when adults are trying to get to know my children, the first thing they want to know is who they have a crush on? Not only is that an extremely personal question, it’s also the least significant part of their lives and not something I want them to dwell on.

Ask instead what their favorite subject is, if they read a book recently they enjoyed, what kinds of activities they participate in or clubs they belong to. Please stop telling them that “surely some cute little kid” must have caught their eye. — Wise One In Virginia

Dear Wise One,

This question used to annoy me as a child. Really? You care who a 7-year-old might have a crush on? Live your own life and leave me alone!

Even as a teenager I would get the “Oh, do you have a girlfriend???” and when I would reply with a “No” they would lament the fact that “someone so handsome” was not taken…ugh! Gag me with a spoon.

I would long for the questions about what I was up to outside of school or, HELL, I’d answer questions about what I was up to IN school before I would willingly answer questions about who I had a crush on!

In today’s world I often jokingly break the ice with a group of people with a “Soooooo, who does everyone like???” but only in jest. I’m too old for that shit. So should these parents.

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“Jaw With John” – Waterfront Property Attracts Kids, Don’t Tell Jared

We have a vacation home where we go sometimes on the weekends. Our neighbors seem to view our place as a public kids’ camp. More than any other place, we seem to be a magnet for their unsupervised kids! We regularly end up with other kids in our water, playing with our toys, even asking us for refreshments or running through our house. I’ll admit it is a little flattering to be viewed as fun, but we really need some boundaries.

One time a parent asked if her child could play with ours. When we responded “of course” and assumed she would stay to observe, she proceeded to leave her child with us while she went out for the afternoon!

But often it’s just the kids who run over to our place on their own. We don’t know if their parents know where they are. Honestly we don’t understand the attraction because we offer nothing more than what they already have at their own place, except perhaps parental supervision! We’ve even tried to say, “we need some family time now,” only to have them sit on the edge of the property and stare and wait to rejoin us.

With the increased volume, the focused attention required with kids around water and the extra clean up, by the end of the day it’s all so exhausting! How do we put a stop to being viewed as free daycare, free lifeguarding and free entertainment while not straining those relationships? — Exhausted from “Relaxing”

Dear Exhausted:

Let me clear something up right now, it’s not your water because you don’t own it. You own the coastline and if you have a dock then that’s yours too but you don’t own the water.

The parent who left their child with you is clearly irresponsible and when you saw them again you should’ve said “When you asked to have your child over, we assumed you were going to be watching over him/her. Next time, he/she isn’t allowed unless you’re present. We’re not running a daycare center…unless you want to pay us.”

To combat this you could put up a fence. That’s the most dramatic response but I don’t think you want that. You sound like you enjoy their company, to an extent. That’s why you need to meet their parents and see if they have their and your your permission to play on your property. But it’s ultimately up to you to approve and be vigilant. If one or multiple kids show up you’ll need to call their parents and see if they know where they are and if you will allow them to play.

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“Jaw With John” – Stepfather Blows Smoke Up Your Butt (not literally)

I am the mother of three children who enjoy going to my mom and stepfather’s house to spend the night. The issue is that my stepfather smokes in their home and vehicle.

I have spoken to them and stated that my husband and I do not want our children around smoking. I asked that he not smoke in the home and car when our children are there.

My children have come home and told us that he continues to smoke in their presence.

My children also tell us that they don’t eat at times when they are there, and do not take baths after playing outside with pets.

I do know that the couple’s cleanliness is not the greatest. Their dog has been ill with untreated illnesses.

*Due to all these factors I have decided not to let my children in the home. It is my job to protect them, and I feel my mom and stepfather should respect my wishes.

*Am I overreacting? And how should I handle this situation, since saying something before has not changed anything. — Protective Mother

Dear Mother:

Smoking is one of the most disgusting habits in the world. Tobacco smoking that is, the “sticky icky” is a whole other ball of wax. I work with quite a few people who do smoke and, honestly, it gets me frustrated and sick whenever I see them smoking. The fact that your stepfather is doing this around children REALLY bothers me. He should know better and you need to tell him face to face that he needs to not smoke in their presence.

“They don’t eat at times”? What does that mean? Are they skipping meals or are they just not snacking a lot? You need to be more specific here because if it’s just snacking then that’s probably for the best, but if it’s a full on meal then you’ve got a bigger problem.

I once went an entire week not showering or changing my underwear. True story. It was Boy Scout camp and my “bath” was jumping into the ocean and then marching up to my tent, through the dirt and mud and sand. Kids will get dirty, it’s part of being a child. Your parents seem to let kids be kids.

*Sigh* You need to voice your opinion and let your parents know that you will not tolerate smoking in front of or around your children. Otherwise, that smoke is going right up your butt.

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