Tag Archives: Invitations

“Jaw With John” – Follow-Up To Being Excluded

I have a story like “Torn’s,” whose best friend excluded Torn’s wife from a party invitation.

When we were dating, my husband introduced me to his best friend and the friend’s wife. He told them we were serious and would likely marry. The wife then issued several party invitations to my then-boyfriend, specifically excluding me. Regardless of whatever reasons she had for her behavior, we were a couple and expected to be treated as such. We did not attend the parties (and the friendship soon ended). — B

Dear B:

I approve. This behavior is not something that should be tolerated and to nip it in the bud, sometimes, the “friendship” must end.

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“Jaw With John” – Return To Sender

Over time I have received repeated invitations for dinner, a play, a special event, etc., from acquaintances whose company and activities I don’t enjoy. If I meet them on the street or in the neighborhood, a few minutes of pleasant conversation is fine. Otherwise I find them boring, high-pressure and totally involved in things I don’t care about or want to spend my time on.

If I accept invitations I feel an obligation to reciprocate, which is annoying.

I don’t enjoy their interests (opera, travel, expensive trips, constant socializing and their high-octane chatter) or company, so is it reasonable just to say, “That’s not something I really enjoy and need to pass up at this time. But thank you for thinking of me”?

It seems harsh but I am tired of making lame excuses that serve no purpose long term. — Dreading Those Invitations

Dear Dreading:

You don’t enjoy travel?

You don’t enjoy travel.

A part of me finds this mind boggling. Another part finds it refreshing. EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I would see on dating sites would list how much they loooooooove to travel and I would say (in my head) “Oh really? You like to get away from your home and go someplace new and exciting? That makes you special and interesting….” NO IT DOESN’T!!! IT MAKES YOU LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!! Gah! But that’s another story for another time.

Your choice is simple: politely decline their invitations and say you’re not interested. That will stop them from badgering you and it could lead to them presenting you with different events to go to that you might enjoy.

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