Tag Archives: Grandparent

“Jaw With John” – Are You Barking Mad?

My wife and I will soon be first-time grandparents, because our son and his wife are expecting. The problem is their dog.

When they met, his then-girlfriend had a “rescue” dog. As far as I can tell, this dog is vicious and completely out of control.

My son has been bitten at least twice, and the only times I have ever gotten close to the dog it attacked me. When company comes over, the dog is locked in the garage.

Our concern is what happens when they bring the baby home. “Oh, she’s just territorial” is the excuse we hear. Territorial? Wait until a new pet human shows up.

They have several nieces, ranging in age from 1 to 6. We live several states away. Would it be reasonable to ask for photos of the dog playing with the nieces as proof that this dog is safe with children?

We’ve also considered calling the other grandparents, but everyone spends all their energy keeping my son’s wife as happy as she can be.

We have talked about calling child welfare if it appears they plan to let the new baby and the dog live in the same house.

If we do that it would certainly destroy any future relationship, but someone has to have some sense. — Grandparent Prepared to Call CPS

Dear Grandparent:

You sound like a cat person.

Is “it reasonable to ask for photos of the dog playing with the nieces as proof that this dog is safe with children?” No. It’s entirely unreasonable. They don’t have to show you anything. Just because the dog doesn’t interact well with you doesn’t mean it doesn’t with others. Dogs can be picky. And as a rescue dog, they need more time to adjust to their new surroundings because they may only known a certain, awful, way of life.

What right do you have to call child protective services if they let the dog and baby live in the same house? None. It’s their dog and their baby. They will deal with it on their own terms. Any action you take regarding CPS will only hurt your relationship with you son and daughter-in-law.

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“Jaw With John” – Problem Grandchild

My youngest grandson has just left from a week-long visit. He lives out of state and we rarely see him.

He is 8 years old and this was his first visit with us. We have realized that he lies, he cheats, he is incredibly rude and is basically unpleasant to be around.

This is the first grandchild with whom we have had such an unpleasant experience. His parents will expect us to invite him back next year, but we aren’t interested.

How do we address this issue with his parents? — Foundering Grandparents

Dear Grandparents:

He cheats? WTF? Are you guys playing Clue and he peeked at the cards to see if it was Colonel Mustard in the Library with the Wrench?

When I was 8 years old, I clearly remember cheating, lying, and being a brat in general but then I grew up and became only a twinge bit of an asshole.

This kid just needs to be told how to behave, and that should be by his parents. Tell them what happened and let them handle this. As far as not having him back next year, that’s cool. But don’t shut him out completely. I had a great relationship with my grandmother – that was primarily based around her taking me to see any movie I or she wanted – but it was positive nonetheless and your grandson needs that too.

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“Jaw With John” – What’s In A Name?

The birth of my children has caused my father and me to reconnect after many years of no contact. During that time, he remarried (for the third time) a very nice lady who has been instrumental in getting us back on speaking terms. She always sends a gift for birthdays and Christmas. My wife and I like her.

She likes to refer to herself as “Grandma.” My wife doesn’t mind but it just doesn’t sit well with me. For one thing, I don’t want to confuse our very young kids, and for another, my mother passed away 10 years ago, and I know for a fact if she were here and got wind of this she would be very upset. Mom was a tough, take-no-nonsense fighter and she wouldn’t stand for this.

For my father’s wife to call herself “Grandma” seems disrespectful. It took years to get my dad and me to speak. I don’t want to ruin that by insulting his wife, but I also don’t want to confuse our kids or dishonor my mother’s memory. — Upset Son

Dear Upset:

This seems stupid and petty. This woman has been very kind to you and your family and you’re angry over a name. Kids all over the Earth have multiple grandparents yet they don’t get confused. I had a different grandpa, who wasn’t my Dad’s Dad, and I was told that he wasn’t my biological grandpa but it didn’t phase me and I still called him Grandpa.

Why wouldn’t your Mom “stand for this”? There is no nonsense here. It’s a name.

For homework: recall The Bard, Shakespeare, in this instance to bring to light your plight:

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet
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