Tag Archives: grandchildren

“Jaw With John” – Kitty’s Got Claws & Insecurities

Sixteen years ago my best friend introduced me to a man who would become my husband. Her husband, “Stan,” also was my (future) husband’s best friend.

The four of us traveled together for work and for fun and saw each other at least once a week. They even came on our honeymoon cruise.

Fast-forward to 2010. My best friend passed away. I was with her daily for the last month of her life. Stan and my husband continued to be best friends, and we saw him frequently. Then two years ago, MY husband died. Again, Stan was there for me through it all.

Stan has been dating a woman for almost a year. She has decided that I am a threat to her. I have no romantic interest in him whatsoever, but we have been through a lot together, losing our respective spouses and best friends.

Now, Stan doesn’t even talk to me. No calls, no emails … nothing. He told me (last September) that he is trying to help her “work through” her insecurities. She does not feel this way about anyone else in our circle of mutual friends. Only me.

I have declined a few invitations from friends, knowing that she will be there watching my every move. I have not contacted him, but really miss his friendship. I am also very close to his children and grandchildren.

Do I just accept that I am no longer a part of his life and move on, or should I sit down and talk to him? Should I talk to her as well? Should I try to explain that I am not interested in him “that way”? We have social situations where we will run into each other. I am really hurt that he basically dumped our 16 years of friendship over a new girlfriend. — Excluded

Dear Excluded:

I am very sorry for your losses and I am not lying when I say that this is one of the saddest stories I have read. It almost unfolded out like a novel or film in front of me and I thought that you were going to say that you and Stan got together. But you didn’t and I understand that.

One thing of note here is that I truly hope that his grandchildren are from a child born within those 16 years that you’ve known him because that would be weird.

I say screw this new woman Stan’s dating and show her you’re not a threat. Not literally screw, but you know what I mean. Go to those parties you know she’ll be at and let her watch you be normal and not fawning over Stan. It’s the only way she will see that you’re not interested in him. That, and if you were to show up with another man – but that may be too much for you given all that you’ve lost. Once she sees that you’re not a threat the claws will detract and you will have your friend back.

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“Jaw With John” – Baby Got Bump

My husband and I recently learned that we will be great-grandparents! Two of our granddaughters have announced their pregnancies and we are thrilled.

The other day my daughter sent me a picture of her daughter’s four-month baby bump. She was wearing a tight shirt and the bump was quite pronounced.

I realize that I may be from a different generation that “just doesn’t get it,” but anybody with good eyesight (or even not so good eyesight) can see how unattractive pregnant women are nowadays, prancing around in tight shirts.

I really hoped my granddaughters would not wear these fashions. Everybody should take Kate Middleton as a beautiful example.

*My daughter said that my granddaughters are adults with good sense and good taste and the last thing they need is guidance about what to wear. She thinks big pregnant bellies are adorable!

*My husband agrees with me that big bellies are NOT attractive and need to be covered tastefully. I would like to tell my granddaughters what we think.

What should we do? — Upset Great-grandparents

Dear Upset:

Woof. This is a tough one. I’ve learned that you should NEVER tell a pregnant woman anything regarding how she looks, if it’s critical. She will snap your head off like a praying mantis. Having said that, I agree with you on most of your points. I just don’t get it either. It’s not a generational thing.

It’s best to bite your tongue here and wait out the remaining 5 months. But don’t worry! Winter has come! They’ll be layered up in no time so you won’t have to look at their bellies! But seriously, don’t tell them you don’t like seeing their bellies. As Mark said inĀ The RoomLeave your stupid comments in your pocket!

 

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