Tag Archives: Graduation Gift

“Jaw With John” – Void The Check, Not The Friend

I have a friend whose daughter and mine were classmates in intermediate and middle school. Although our daughters moved on to different high schools, we remained close friends. Our daughters graduated the same year but three weeks apart.

She sent my daughter a graduation gift, a check for $100. I reciprocated with a check of the same amount to her daughter when she graduated.

Weeks later, we went out to lunch with two other friends. After lunch, she tried to return the check I gave to her daughter. I politely said, “No,” adding that it was for her daughter — just an even exchange of gifts.

A month later, I noticed she still had not deposited my check.

I sent her an email reminding her to do so and that I hoped she had not lost the check. I did not get a response. It’s been almost seven months but she has not deposited the check.

Our other friends told me to let it go.

I am really confused about this. There was no argument — in fact, I gave her birthday and Christmas gifts months later, which she accepted and thanked me for. What should I do? — Bewildered Friend

Dear Bewildered:

After some period of time don’t checks become void if they haven’t been cashed? I know very little about nuances of finance, but I think this check is kaput.

For some reason, she doesn’t want your money. Yet she is perfectly OK with giving you HER money. It’s very confusing and may be an issue of pride. You have tried your best to see why she won’t accept and she has repeatedly tried to return the check to you. I think it might be time to throw in the towel and void the check yourself.

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“Jaw With John” – Needy Nephew Needs Nothing

Our nephew is graduating soon and he has sent family members letters asking for money for a trip he would like to take. His father is a multimillionaire and can more than afford to fund the trip.

I find it very rude. Is our nephew wrong for begging from family?

There have been no discussions whatsoever about gifts — he just slammed the family with this request.

My brother should be ashamed of himself for allowing his son to do this. It would be a little different if he had said, “If anyone is wondering what I might like …” (or something to that effect), instead of just assuming everyone was planning to give him something.

He just said he wanted to go on a trip and asked if we could help. — Frustrated at Brother

Dear Frustrated:

It’s February, how is he “graduating soon”? Most schools graduate in May or June. Also, is he of High School age or College age? Because if he’s trying to bridge the gap between High School and College then he should just be like everyone else and get a Summer job instead of, presumably, wanting to backpack across Europe. If he’s graduating from College then perhaps he has earned a bit of a vacation but he was most definitely wrong for asking for money for a trip outright.

There is no reason to be openly mad at your brother because he has not attached his name to this request. Since you feel strongly about this, tell your nephew “No”. It can be a valuable lesson for him in the future about how to approach asking for things. Or he’ll just run to Daddy Warbucks and get the money from him.

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