Tag Archives: Gay

Dear John: Mom Is Angry At Lesbian Daughter, I Am Angry At Mom

My daughter recently informed me that she has met someone and the someone happens to be a woman. My reaction was, of course, shock and anger, although I have kind of suspected over the years that she is a lesbian.

She is 43 and was married for 10 years. She has two children and has been divorced for about 11 years now. She dated a few guys, but either had no luck with them or it didn’t last.

I don’t know how to handle this because I’m against people being gay. I see it as unnatural and think they all have issues. I don’t treat gay people any different from anyone else, but I do keep them at a distance. Now I don’t know how to proceed with our relationship. Please help. — SHOCKED AND ANGRY MOM

Dear Shocked:

I’m against people being gay.” So, you’re saying you’re intolerant. Even going so far as to admit that you “keep them at a distance.” Wow. So much fear and malice flows through your body. I feel sorry for your closed worldview. Gay people are no different than heterosexual, pansexual, or bisexual people.

Your daughter was living a life that wasn’t truly her life because she was not out and open with her sexuality. This is who your daughter is, a lesbian. And you cannot now claim shock when you say you suspected it over the years. You just didn’t want it to be true because of your view of gay people. Your remark about her having no luck or it not lasting with guys she dated is very troublesome. She had “no luck” because she wasn’t into dating men!

You need to apologize to your daughter, hope for forgiveness and a dialogue to start because all she has done is become her true self and now she can live the life that she wants to live.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Jaw With John” – FYI 2+2=5

I am 65, a retired gay man married to “Jack,” who is 37, who is a musician and a medical researcher.

We’ve been together for 14 years. Yesterday a friend, “Drew,” came back to our city to visit. He came over for dinner. They spent the entire evening discussing music, bands of the ’70s, bands of the ’80s, bands of the present, who was influenced by whom, who the guitar player was in which band.

I’ll admit there were several decades when I did not pay attention to popular music.

I was raised with classical music and am currently studying voice. I felt totally cut out of the conversation.

Let’s face it. Radiohead was NOT influenced by Schubert. Once or twice I tried to interject a new subject, but I felt like I was making a non sequitur. Most of John’s friends have been very supportive of our relationship and have gone out of their way to accept me. Aside from politely excusing myself and retreating to my computer, I’m not sure what I should have done in this situation. Any thoughts? Thank you. — Who is Radiohead?

Dear Who:

Who is Radiohead? WHO IS RADIOHEAD!? Are you a creep? Are you a weirdo? Am I going to have to call the Karma Police?

Don’t leave me high and dry. This one’s optimistic…that you’ll be able to find a way into the conversation because I’m going to tell you how.

Firstly, how do you know Radiohead wasn’t influenced by Schubert? You gotta listen to them first! Don’t go about making broad statements without evidence. It makes you look ignorant. And THIS is how you can help yourself out in future situations: listen to the bands, artists, and musicians they mentioned and the next time it comes up you can contribute to the conversation. And since you are studying voice, you can add some depth to the conversation by bringing up your lessons and own musical background to add to the conversation.

This is just another jigsaw falling into place of the puzzle that is a relationship. Little by little you will find common musical interests and then it will all be OK…computer.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,