Tag Archives: Friend

Dear John: Gluten-Free Friend Is Worried About Eating At Parties

I feel much more comfortable eating gluten-free. But it creates problems when I’m invited to the homes of friends. What’s the best way to deal with my dietary restrictions when invited to these affairs? — RESTRICTED EATER

Dear Restricted Eater,

You call up whoever invited you and say “Hey Brenda, I’m eating gluten free and was wondering what you will be serving? If you could provide a gluten free option that’d be awesome, but, I understand it’s an inconvenience. So, I can bring something for myself to eat that fits with my diet if a gluten free option is not available. Thanks a bunch!”

The good news is that there a tons of gluten-free options available and your dinner party hosts could potentially be able to accommodate you. At the same time, how many dinner parties are you getting invited to??? Check you out! Ms./Mr. Popular!

But at least you’re not vegan. They can be the worst and nearly impossible to deal with when planning meals.

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“Jaw With John” – Filter Your Friend’s “Alternative Facts”

An older friend and I have exchanged emails since last spring. Hers have been mostly political and disparaging toward minorities. I asked her to please not send this stuff since we have opposite opinions on the subject, and I don’t plan to change my mind. I enjoy our in-person talks because they are nothing like the emails she sends, which are “forwards” somebody else has put together.

I quit reading them, but is there a way to politely stop her from disseminating nasty propaganda? I have tried fact-checking and sending corrections to her and to those on the long list of people she has sent these emails. It doesn’t work. — Fact Checker

Dear Fact Checker,

There’s this wonderful new invention called the SPAM folder! You can filter alllllllllll her messages to that folder and then you can delete them all at once and be done with it!

Listen, there are some people who don’t want “facts” they want “alternative facts” that cover up the real truth and prop up a certain ideal situation that they think they’re living in…when it is in fact denial of the actual truth. Filter her messages and be done with them.

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“Jaw With John” – Follow-Up To Being Excluded

I have a story like “Torn’s,” whose best friend excluded Torn’s wife from a party invitation.

When we were dating, my husband introduced me to his best friend and the friend’s wife. He told them we were serious and would likely marry. The wife then issued several party invitations to my then-boyfriend, specifically excluding me. Regardless of whatever reasons she had for her behavior, we were a couple and expected to be treated as such. We did not attend the parties (and the friendship soon ended). — B

Dear B:

I approve. This behavior is not something that should be tolerated and to nip it in the bud, sometimes, the “friendship” must end.

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“Jaw With John” – How To Be Anti-Social on The Social Network

I am a 60-something-year-old woman who, although I am very “up” on all technology, absolutely hates Facebook! I find it intrusive and a place where most of the posts I’ve read on other people’s pages are just downright bragging about kids, grandkids, money, etc., etc. Some of the posts are completely stupid.

I have a friend who decided it would be a great idea to become FB friends with my 30-year-old daughter.

Now she repeats everything that is on my daughter’s page and it drives me completely nuts. I have told her how much I hate Facebook but she just doesn’t get it. If I did go on Facebook, I would never go on her daughter’s page. I am not that nosy and I don’t need to read every little comment that is made or look at pictures of people I have no interest in. Any suggestions on how I should go about this without losing my friend over it? — Furious over Facebook

Dear Furious:

Facebook, and similar sites, are social networks. They are an extension of yourself into the digital realm. The difference between real life and the digital world is that you can control what you put out there for people to see, what you report on, and what you post. For someone who is “‘up’ on all technology” you seem to lack this basic understanding. You can be friends with anyone you choose, or not choose. You can even be friends with someone but unfollow them so you wouldn’t see anything they posted but still be their friend. Hell, you could be friends with TONS of people but unfollow them all so you would see nothing but still be “connected” on Facebook.

By joining you could also do away with the entire conversation you have with this friend. You could say “Yes, I saw that because I’m on Facebook now” and that could hopefully end the conversation. You could even lie about seeing said post to stop that topic from ever coming up again. This is pretty anti-social, but it would get your friend off your back.

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“Jaw With John” – Friend, Discretion Is Advised

Recently a close friend and her boyfriend visited my family and me. During the visit my friend casually asked about my best friend, “Shelley.” We see each other only a few times a year.

As I was filling in my visiting friend about Shelley’s adorable new apartment she abruptly asked if she was still sleeping with the same (married) man she’s been seeing for years. I was completely dumbfounded and shocked. My visiting friend felt awful that she outed Shelley and said she assumed I already knew.

I feel terrible and wonder why Shelley didn’t tell me about this relationship. It seems dishonest of me not to bring this up with her, and I’ve always been honest with her. Should I tell her I know? I don’t want to throw my visiting friend under the bus for letting it slip. She feels terrible. I am feeling so torn between being honest and upfront about knowing and being respectful of Shelley’s privacy. If she wanted me to know, she would have told me, right? — Upset Friend

Dear Upset:

Let’s face it, your friend might have found out about Shelley through a third party so don’t feel too bad.

As for Shelley, you can approach her by saying “I heard that this guy you’re seeing is married? Is this true?” If she wants to talk about it, she will. If not, then that’s on her and you should respect that no matter how strongly you disagree with her. Discretion is a must here as doing anything loud or public could severely ruin multiple people’s lives. You and I know what she is doing is wrong but you are not the one to decide how it all plays out.

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