Tag Archives: Finance

“Jaw With John” – Boyfriend Needs A Budget

When my boyfriend and I started dating seven months ago, I loved that we went out on fun dates. However, I started wondering where his money was coming from. I now know that he still receives income from his mother, even though he’s 23 and out of school.

Although he’s working a part-time job, I know it’s not enough to cover his bills. When I confronted him about searching for more work, he said he’s waiting to find his “true passion.”

He spends money on meals out, expensive clothes, and acting and writing classes. I value a strong work ethic, and it’s difficult for me to see him using his parents’ money rather than trying to make enough on his own.

How do I discuss this with him? Is it wrong to impose my values on him? — Anxious

Dear Anxious:

Some dudes will never learn. That’s a fact.

Me? I’m a dude who still lives at home but I don’t get money from my parents. I work various jobs to make money as I try to find a more permanent employment situation. But, I also don’t spend the money (which I don’t have) on things I don’t need like clothes and meals out, like your guy does. I have something called self-control. He seems to need a certain lifestyle and cannot deviate. He’ll find out the hard way that his lifestyle cannot be maintained by his current income.

You can discuss this with him, but you can’t impose your values on him. He won’t listen. Trust me. It’ll suck but, he needs to learn budgeting on his own.

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“Jaw With John” – Void The Check, Not The Friend

I have a friend whose daughter and mine were classmates in intermediate and middle school. Although our daughters moved on to different high schools, we remained close friends. Our daughters graduated the same year but three weeks apart.

She sent my daughter a graduation gift, a check for $100. I reciprocated with a check of the same amount to her daughter when she graduated.

Weeks later, we went out to lunch with two other friends. After lunch, she tried to return the check I gave to her daughter. I politely said, “No,” adding that it was for her daughter — just an even exchange of gifts.

A month later, I noticed she still had not deposited my check.

I sent her an email reminding her to do so and that I hoped she had not lost the check. I did not get a response. It’s been almost seven months but she has not deposited the check.

Our other friends told me to let it go.

I am really confused about this. There was no argument — in fact, I gave her birthday and Christmas gifts months later, which she accepted and thanked me for. What should I do? — Bewildered Friend

Dear Bewildered:

After some period of time don’t checks become void if they haven’t been cashed? I know very little about nuances of finance, but I think this check is kaput.

For some reason, she doesn’t want your money. Yet she is perfectly OK with giving you HER money. It’s very confusing and may be an issue of pride. You have tried your best to see why she won’t accept and she has repeatedly tried to return the check to you. I think it might be time to throw in the towel and void the check yourself.

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