Tag Archives: Fiancee

“Jaw With John” – Fiancee Needs To Know About Husband-To-Be

I was dating someone on and off for five years. He broke up with me suddenly last summer but we have hooked up (sexually) since then.

I found out three weeks ago that he had been seeing someone else that entire time and that they became engaged just after he broke it off with me, which makes me a wholly blindsided “other woman.”

So he cheated on his girlfriend with me almost the entire time they were together and continued to cheat on her after they became engaged. He always maintained that he was single and that she was “just a friend.”

Needless to say, I am devastated. It has come to my attention that even though his parents know the truth, he has not told his fiancee about me.

I feel sick over the whole thing and I think it’s very important that she know the truth about whom she is marrying, as the wedding is fast approaching.

Is there some way for me to let her know what’s going on without looking like I’m some vindictive, crazy ex-girlfriend just looking for revenge?

If I were in her position I would want to know. I don’t know what to do. I bet I feel guiltier about it than he does!

Also, how do I get past this? I still can’t believe it has happened, and I can’t believe someone I cared about so much and trusted completely could have acted this way and kept it up for so long. — Bewildered in Baltimore

Dear Bewildered:

There is no way to come out of this looking good. You can’t force other people to feel a certain way about you. It’s just not possible.

You definitely need to tell the fiancee who she is about to marry. You can’t text, email, or call her. You need to tell her face-to-face something like this: “I had been with your fiance off and on for the last few years. All the while he maintained that you were ‘just a friend’ and he led me to believe that he was still single.” How she reacts from there is beyond you. You would’ve let her know and what follows will be her responsibility.

As for yourself, take some “Me time” and cut him out of your life completely. Go to a spa or do whatever you need to make yourself feel good to move on from this guy.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Jaw With John” – Baby, Baby, Baby Ohhhhhh

My fiance and I have been together for five years. We have a son who is almost 2 years old. We have always talked about having at least one more baby.

My sister-in-law got pregnant (she’ll be having a boy), so I didn’t want to get pregnant and take the spotlight off her first pregnancy. I wanted her time to be special and threw a baby shower for her.

Yesterday my pregnant sister-in-law and I spent the whole day together, and I helped her set up her nursery. Last night I went home and I told my fiance about my day and then we got to talking about having another baby. We asked our son if he wanted a sibling and he said yes. (I know he probably doesn’t know what we are talking about.)

Would it be wrong of me to start trying to get pregnant? We want to give my sister-in-law her time to shine, but helping her yesterday made me realize how badly I wanted another baby. — Lady with Baby Blues

Dear Lady:

No, it wouldn’t be wrong. If you were pregnant at the same time it’d be a little like Father of the Bride Part II where Diane Keaton and Kimberly Williams were pregnant at the same time … minus the Martin Short hijinks. Even if you were to get pregnant right now you would still have few months of a buffer between you and your sister-in-law. You’re kind to let her have her moment in the sun but don’t let her stop you from adding to your family if you want to. I am sure she would be happy for you, and if she wasn’t then that’s her problem.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Jaw With John” – It’s A Nice Day For A White Wedding, Without His New GF That Is

My fiance and I recently got engaged. About five years ago, his parents divorced when his dad announced he had been seeing someone else and was leaving. His mom has had a very difficult time with this. My fiance only sees his dad every few months despite being in the same city, although they text back and forth somewhat frequently. However, he has never liked his dad’s girlfriend, since he views her as the reason for his parents’ marriage ending.

Soon we are going to be making guest lists and sending out invitations for the wedding. My fiance does not want his dad’s girlfriend to attend, not only because he doesn’t like her, but because he doesn’t want to make his mom uncomfortable or cause any drama on our wedding day. I am afraid his dad might tell him that if his girlfriend isn’t allowed to come, then he won’t come either, and my fiance will regret his father not being there on his wedding day.

Do you think it’s fair to ask that his dad’s girlfriend not attend our wedding? — Wondering Fiancee

Dear Wondering:

You’re afraid of something that hasn’t happened yet. I think it’s perfectly fair to ask her not to attend. If he doesn’t want to attend because she wouldn’t be welcomed then screw him. That decision would lead m to believe that it was all about him and not about your wedding. Let the Dad know that she is not welcome and if he causes a fuss then he’s an asshole. But cross that bridge when you get to it.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,