Tag Archives: Father

“Jaw With John” – Daddy’s Girl Is Still Grieving

I am 27 years old. I have always been a daddy’s girl. My dad and I were extremely close until his passing almost three years ago after a three-year battle with cancer.

Before this, my parents had been married for 30 years. Recently my mother has been talking on her phone way more than usual, and I asked my sister whom she was talking to. Apparently this guy has been coming around and taking her on trips out of town and such.

When I first heard this I was very bothered. I’m writing because my boyfriend is saying I’m being selfish for not approving of this. I’m still grieving, so why isn’t she? Please help me understand and be possibly close to being OK with this. Is my boyfriend right? — Daddy’s Girl.

Dear Daddy’s Girl:

Everyone grieves differently and for varying lengths of time. You don’t sound all that close to your mother. Getting second hand news shows you aren’t truly connected to her. It can be hard to move on after someone you love has passed and the paths that you and your mom are taking are very different.

You can’t tell your mom to not seek out happiness just because you are still in pain. That is being selfish.

I’ll be frank, three years is an awfully long time to be grieving. From my own experience, losing someone is awful and yes the pain and the hole that person left is still there but you cannot let that take hold of your life. You need to find a way to move on. As much as you’d like to, you can’t live in the past.

You clearly need to address this with her and tell her how you’re feeling and discuss your father. He was an important man in both of your lives and someone that important should be talked about.

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“Jaw With John” – An Adult Making Fun Of A Child, Real Classy

My father’s longtime partner of over 30 years, “Vivian,” has started to make mean remarks to my 3-year-old son. For instance, she makes fun of his speech (he cannot pronounce “L” and “S” yet).

She will imitate him in a mean voice and then laugh. She has never been mean to my older daughter or to me, so this has really caught me off guard. In the moment I’m so at a loss for words and emotional that I don’t respond, which may be for the best, since my children are present.

Now I am angry. I don’t know if I should refuse to let my children around her. My father is non-confrontational and will not get involved.

Should I sit down with her and tell her that her behavior is unacceptable (which I doubt will go well), or is it best to let this go? — Angry Mom

Dear Angry:

Vivian sounds like a real piece of work. Making fun of children, like super young children, and laughing about it, is not tolerated. She sounds like she doesn’t know any better, which sounds impossible but it happens. You need to sit her down and tell her that her behavior is unacceptable. He’s a child!

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“Jaw With John” – It’s A Nice Day For A White Wedding, Without His New GF That Is

My fiance and I recently got engaged. About five years ago, his parents divorced when his dad announced he had been seeing someone else and was leaving. His mom has had a very difficult time with this. My fiance only sees his dad every few months despite being in the same city, although they text back and forth somewhat frequently. However, he has never liked his dad’s girlfriend, since he views her as the reason for his parents’ marriage ending.

Soon we are going to be making guest lists and sending out invitations for the wedding. My fiance does not want his dad’s girlfriend to attend, not only because he doesn’t like her, but because he doesn’t want to make his mom uncomfortable or cause any drama on our wedding day. I am afraid his dad might tell him that if his girlfriend isn’t allowed to come, then he won’t come either, and my fiance will regret his father not being there on his wedding day.

Do you think it’s fair to ask that his dad’s girlfriend not attend our wedding? — Wondering Fiancee

Dear Wondering:

You’re afraid of something that hasn’t happened yet. I think it’s perfectly fair to ask her not to attend. If he doesn’t want to attend because she wouldn’t be welcomed then screw him. That decision would lead m to believe that it was all about him and not about your wedding. Let the Dad know that she is not welcome and if he causes a fuss then he’s an asshole. But cross that bridge when you get to it.

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