Tag Archives: ex-wife

“Jaw With John” – Many Marriages Maketh The Man

Many years ago, my first wife’s father died suddenly. My wife totally changed and this led to a divorce.

In my marriages that followed (and there were several), something unexpected arose, unraveling the relationships. I ask myself, “Was it just bad luck or poor judgment?”

I have been married to a wonderful woman for the last 32 years (no more surprises!). I have been a great husband and she is happy.

Yet in discussions about relationships within her family, people actually have had the nerve to say, “And how many times have you been married?” Although most of my marriages were at an early age, I am still held accountable for those failures.

How do I rid myself of the stigma I carry? — Tired of Taking It

Dear Tired:

You gotta own it bro. That’s the only way you can move on, which you have since you’ve been married for 32 years. Be self-deprecating when it’s brought up. If done right, it can be funny and add levity to the whole situation and will help you move on. It will also show others that you’re not your past marriages and could lead to them not bringing it up again.

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“Jaw With John” – It’s A Nice Day For A White Wedding, Without His New GF That Is

My fiance and I recently got engaged. About five years ago, his parents divorced when his dad announced he had been seeing someone else and was leaving. His mom has had a very difficult time with this. My fiance only sees his dad every few months despite being in the same city, although they text back and forth somewhat frequently. However, he has never liked his dad’s girlfriend, since he views her as the reason for his parents’ marriage ending.

Soon we are going to be making guest lists and sending out invitations for the wedding. My fiance does not want his dad’s girlfriend to attend, not only because he doesn’t like her, but because he doesn’t want to make his mom uncomfortable or cause any drama on our wedding day. I am afraid his dad might tell him that if his girlfriend isn’t allowed to come, then he won’t come either, and my fiance will regret his father not being there on his wedding day.

Do you think it’s fair to ask that his dad’s girlfriend not attend our wedding? — Wondering Fiancee

Dear Wondering:

You’re afraid of something that hasn’t happened yet. I think it’s perfectly fair to ask her not to attend. If he doesn’t want to attend because she wouldn’t be welcomed then screw him. That decision would lead m to believe that it was all about him and not about your wedding. Let the Dad know that she is not welcome and if he causes a fuss then he’s an asshole. But cross that bridge when you get to it.

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“Jaw With John” – This Ex Needs An Axe

I knowingly got involved with a man who told me he was living with his ex-wife and child. He said they had reconciled “because of the kid.” He made it clear that he was seeking a lover because he was unhappy.

We carried on this affair for many months. I was not the only one he was unfaithful to. I found out he is a serial cheater that preys on vulnerable women. How I learned this information was through suspicion and much digging online. (I could be a private detective by now!)

My question is: Do I share this info with the ex-wife, with whom he is still living and who is very much involved in his life?

I know because she called him a lot when we were together, and he was obviously lying to her about his whereabouts and happenings. I have since stopped seeing him. — Concerned

Dear Concerned:

Short and sweet here: I would say yes, share with his ex-wife. If she doesn’t know already who her ex-husband truly is, then she needs to know so she can cut ties with him and have the opportunity to raise her child in a proper, nurturing environment. Good for you on not seeing him anymore. He sounds like a total dick.

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“Jaw With John” – You Can’t Walk Over Burned Bridges

I was married over 40 years. My ex-wife and I had numerous problems throughout our marriage. I left several times but always went back. The last time I left, I filed for divorce.

It’s been a few years and I am starting to miss her. We talk briefly every once in a while, mostly because of our grandchildren.

I am currently living with a divorced woman. We get along great but never talked of marriage.

Lately my live-in mentioned getting married. It has hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t want to. I want to go back to my ex. I don’t know if she’ll take me back. If my current relationship falls apart, I have no place to go, but I don’t care.

I don’t know how to go about talking to my ex about going back to her. I don’t even know if she will take me back.

I am currently not seeing a psychiatrist, though I have in the past and will probably do so again. — Torn

Dear Torn:

You left, now you want to go back? People always want what they can’t have. This is one of those situations.

You have a history of coming and going soooooo I doubt your ex-wife will listen to you or want you back. Just a shot in the dark there.

As for your current live-in, you need to tell her up front what you want out of this relationship. If she leaves and you have no place to go you said you’d be fine? Uhh, what? I don’t think you know exactly what you want.

You’re scared shitless that your live-in wants to tie you down and you want to run back to what you know and are comfortable with. CTFO, take some “me time” and figure out what you want.

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