Tag Archives: ex-boyfriend

“Jaw With John” – Confused Feelings For An Ex

I broke up with my boyfriend about six months ago. We were in a relationship for four months, and the entire time it was like we were just friends. He was scared to advance the relationship, so I ended it.

Now I am starting to develop feelings for him again, and I realize that I made a horrible mistake.

All of my friends hate him, so they kept pressuring me to break up with him. They have very bad judgment and never took the time to get to know him. At the time, I was angry at him for ditching me in the middle of a date because it was “too awkward.” But, nevertheless, I have feelings again. What should I do?

— Confused

Dear Confused,

I’m surprised you let it last four months without taking things to the next step. Personally, I was in one of those. It only lasted a month before I realized that the girl was only looking for a friend to hangout with, so I ended things. I wasn’t going to be strung along looking for a relationship while she was using me to do stuff and go places.

Why do you want to be strung along?

He clearly didn’t look at you the same way that you did. He, also, was unwilling to deepen your bond by becoming more intimate. What has changed in you? Do you feel that you can change him? Are you Jack from Lost in that you need someone to fix something at all times? (Timely reference, I know)

Hey, those feelings of having made a mistake are natural. I’d like to think that the woman who just broke up with me is rethinking her actions but she probably isn’t. She’s probably moved on and looking to date other guys…I digress. But if the relationship with this guy is like playing tennis against a curtain, then I think it’s time to look elsewhere.

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“Jaw With John” – Close Friends’ Ex Ain’t Gon’ Give It To Her, Happiness That Is

My close friend has recently moved to another state to start a new life and “experience better prospects” romantically.

After one week, she’s informed me that she is romantically communicating with her ex again via text. He is married with three children and happens to live in this new city where she has moved. While she knows that I don’t approve of the relationship because it will never lead to a happy and fulfilling life for her, I understand that she has moved to a new city with no other girlfriends to talk to and bounce things off of.

Do I just patiently listen to her romantic tales while I know this is just one more round on the emotional carousel, or should I be honest and tell her these conversations make me feel bad and they’re exhausting? It kills me to see her doing this again. She could do so much better. — Disenchanted Optimist

Dear Disenchanted:

“Happens to live in this new city where she moved”? Yeah, and my girlfriend is Jennifer Lawrence.

You need to tell her that her ex is just that, her ex. No more pussyfooting around. She needs to hear that and then move on and actually pursue better, and actually available, romantic prospects.

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“Jaw With John” – Boyfriend Fell Into The Grindr

Last weekend my boyfriend told me while we were showering that he was leaving me for a man he met on the male hookup app Grindr.

That man happens to be my neighbor. My boyfriend proceeded to move out that morning, and he keeps coming around, trying to be “friends.” I tried to be cordial at first, but then one night he tried kissing me and I pushed him away.

Now I just want to be left alone, but because he’s living with my neighbor, I see him almost every day in passing, and when I do, I feel hurt. I don’t want to have to hide in my home out of fear of seeing him. Do you have any suggestions on how I can cope with this new reality? It is one I’ve never experienced before. — Sad Ex-Boyfriend

Dear Ex-Boyfriend:

Wow.

I’m literally staring at the blinking cursor wondering what to say to you.

You can’t be friends with him. You can’t. It’s much easier for the dumper to move on than the dumpee because they knew it was coming and planned it. You’re stuck with the aftermath of it all and need to find a way to move on.

Try changing your routine around so that he won’t know exactly when you’re around and vice versa. You also need friends in a time like this. Friends who will agree with you that he was an asshole, or however you feel. You’ll talk it out and hopefully find some way to move on.

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“Jaw With John” – Get Over It, Go Out With Somebody Else

*After taking some time off/being a bit lazy, I’m back in this*

I’m a 27-year-old female. I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years in March because he was caught texting a girl (she’d already been brought up in conversation as an issue for me) in a very non-platonic way, if you know what I mean.

I admit to being very jealous so I tried to give him space to have whatever friends he wanted, but I also believe there should be very clear boundaries with these “friends.”

Anyhow, even after the breakup we are still acting like we’re together. He spends nearly every night at my house, we still “do the do,” he gets jealous over other guys I’m talking to but when I say let’s try again, he tells me no. I honestly think he has someone (or several someones) else but with no proof — and the way he still treats me like he wants this, I can’t really walk away without knowing for sure. Any advice? — Confused

Dear Confused:

I don’t think you or your ex know what “break up” means or else this guy wouldn’t be over nearly every night.

And honestly, when you say “do the do” it reminds me of Mountain Dew and their “Do the Dew” slogan. I don’t think you want to be associated with that product that now goes by Mtn Dew because apparently spelling out M-o-u-n-t-a-i-n takes up too much space and time. But that’s neither here nor there.

It seems that both of you are Stacy from Wayne’s World:

Simple advice: cut the cord. You broke up, are you mental?

 

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“Jaw With John” – ‘What if?’ Is Driving Him Nuts

My wife and I have had (and continue to have) a great marriage of almost 40 years. We are both in our 60s, with two grown children and two grandchildren.

Lately I have developed a nagging curiosity about my wife’s relationship with a boyfriend she was apparently very much in love with before I met her.

She only briefly discussed him with me a few years ago, after his name came up at a social gathering. There has never been any contact with him during our marriage, so why do I wonder about this now? — Just Curious

Dear Curious:

“What if?” That’s what’s driving you now. Those two simple words are taking control of your brain and your thoughts causing you to worry about something that clearly isn’t a problem. How do I know it’s not a problem? Because you’ve been married for almost 40 years! Unless your wife is going all Diane Lane in Unfaithful – which I doubt – then you have nothing to worry about.

There are two things you can do: 1. Let this question eat at you as you ponder and wonder “what might have been?” or “why did they…?” until it drives you nuts. OR 2. Straight up ask your wife WTF happened to that guy.

Maybe he died. Maybe she moved. Maybe he cheated on her. Maybe she met you.

I recommend doing #2.

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