Tag Archives: Engaged

“Jaw With John” – Engaged Friends Are Eager To Get You Married

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. I am 24 and he is 27. We have enjoyable, well-paying careers, own our home and are busy redecorating. We have had a number of friends get engaged within the last year and are planning weddings.

Almost all of these couples feel that because they are engaged, we should be engaged too. Every time I am with any of them, they ask when we are getting married, when he is buying me a ring, etc. Even my single friends and his family have started asking.

Neither of us is in a rush to be married. Our lifestyle is very different than that of our engaged friends. We are not as eager to be married as they are. We can still do all the things we want to do without signing a marriage certificate. What do I say to these people to get them to stop asking? I’ve already tried “We aren’t in a rush,” and it doesn’t work. I don’t feel I owe them a huge explanation. I just want something that may stop the repetition. — Wondering

Dear Wondering:

Tell them, “we will get engaged when we are ready to get engaged.” Then stare blankly at them for five full seconds to physically indicate how done you are with this line of questioning.

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“Jaw With John” – Put A Ring On It

I have a 23-year-old granddaughter who has been living with a 25-year-old man for over five years. He doesn’t seem to feel he should get engaged or plan their marriage.

I know she is upset about not getting a ring and approached him about it a few months ago. He said he would get her a ring but wanted to wait until he had saved enough money for it. But time goes on and still no ring!

He treats her well and to my knowledge her only complaint is that he will not commit to engagement or marriage. His parents lived together for seven years before they got married, so that might be one reason why he hasn’t made the commitment.

I’ve been married for 60 years and feel that if you are going to live with someone you need to make a commitment to marry soon — and not several years down the road. Am I old-fashioned?

Should I let her continue to be “used” by him? I feel that the lack of commitment doesn’t show her respect. Perhaps his argument is that he is committed — by providing for her as she continues her education. They live as man and wife without the ring and marriage. I know that it bothers her, but she continues to hang in there. — Disappointed

Dear Disappointed:

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