Tag Archives: eating

“Jaw With John” – Snot Appropriate To Blow Your Nose At The Table

“Could you please explain why so many people blow their noses at the supper table? You would think older folks would know better, but it seems like they are the worst offenders. I see a lot of this in restaurants or the cafeteria. I not only consider it rude but also gross.

Why can’t people excuse themselves from the table and leave the room to do it? I generally go to the ladies room or, if I’m home, go into another room. My mother and brother do this — and it’s disgusting! What is your view on this? Maybe you could teach some of these folks some manners. — Grossed Out In Florida

Dear Grossed Out,

“Supper”?!? C’mon bruh! It’s called dinner!

Yeah, it’s gross. Sometimes you can’t help but blow your nose at the table, like just after a sneeze or if it’s a sneeze with a lil’ snot coming out. But if you can help it, you better take it outside, to the bathroom, or somewhere that’s NOT the dinner/breakfast/lunch table.

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“Jaw With John” – The Meal Doesn’t Come With A Side of Mobile Phone

My husband and I are parents of seven adult children, ranging in age from 25 to 34. Recently two of our kids (and one spouse) came home for a visit and we noticed they were never far from their cellphones and even at the kitchen table were on their phones texting or checking their mail.

We consider these times together special and my husband, especially, noticed that they were less “present” when on their phones texting, etc.

This Christmas all kids and spouses are coming home for our reunion. Everyone comes home and these are special times, especially since we now have grandchildren.

The out-of-towners all stay with us.

Our question is about the cellphone use during our celebrations and meal times. When we are together at the Christmas dinner table we wish our kids would put the phones away, except for picture taking.

My husband wants to set some rules during these family gatherings.

I am hesitant to set the stage with rules that might make some of these adults crabby.

What do you think? — Babi

Dear Babi:

These are the times we live in unfortunately. Where someone cannot go 10 minutes without checking their phone (this is especially true in movie theatres, but that’s another ball of wax). I admit, I am guilty of this techno-sin when it comes to mealtime but I am vigilant in my mission to stop such activity completely. At dinner, and other meals at home, I make sure to put my phone far enough away from me like in another room or at the other end of the table so I can be present in the meal and the company I am in. If I am out to dinner with friends or family or on a date I keep my phone in my pocket and don’t bring it out until it’s appropriate.

Ideally you would have all of your guests leave their phones, tablets, gaming devices etc in another room at mealtime but that could mean someone could sneak away and check it. If you were to gather them all up and have them on a table nearby, face down, it would really test their resolve. They would hear the phones vibrating on the table but not know whose phone was buzzing. It’d be like a murder mystery that you don’t want to solve because it would disrupt the meal. I have been on dinners with friends (not a bunch of people mind you) where the first person to bring out their phone had to buy a round of drinks for everyone at the table. You could do something similar, except make the punishment cleaning up instead of buying drinks.

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“Jaw With John” – I’ve Smelled Worse

A few days ago I was at the airport gate waiting for our departure when a woman with a bag from a fast-food place came up and sat in our midst. She pulled out her burger and fries and ate them, then got up and left the area. (I couldn’t see if she went to her gate or found another seat.)

I exchanged looks with a couple of the other people waiting, as we all were aware of her aromatic meal.

Likewise, movie theaters now sell pizza and nachos in addition to popcorn, and the smell of some of this stuff is nauseating, especially if one hasn’t eaten in a while and doesn’t indulge in greasy fried foods. Is there a nice way to ask someone to eat somewhere else, or is this another convention that we simply have to live with? — Peter

Dear Peter:

Way to go with using your, supposedly, real name dude.

If you don’t like the smell then you can move. Unless it’s a designated “No Eating” area then you have no beef here. See what I did there? And please, stop trying to be all high and mighty by saying you don’t “indulge in greasy fried foods.” You’re not better than me or anyone else who does. Bringing it up only makes you look like a twat.

It’s a public space, the woman has the right to eat what she wants, where she wants. I am willing to bet that the eating area was fully occupied so she was just looking for a place to sit and eat before her flight. And she found one near you. Also, you “exchanged looks”? What the [expletive deleted] does that mean? Congratulations, your collective noses work. It’s not like she whipped out a day-old tuna and started cutting it up. It was a burger and fries. Chillax.

As for movie theatres, again, if you don’t like the smell then move. I have seen people bring in Chinese food and when they open that Styrofoam container I smell it and go “Gah, that’s not what I want to smell!” So what do I do? I bear it, because I know that it will only last a few minutes. Then I stuff my face with popcorn. Asking someone to sit somewhere else because you are bothered by its smell is a dick move. You wouldn’t do that at a restaurant would you? Um, excuse me, Miss, could you eat your Bloomin’ Onion at another table? The smell is bothering me. No! That would NEVER happen! Suck it up for a few minutes. You’ll survive.


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“Jaw With John” – Cats Are Not Allowed in the Kitchen

We have a family situation that comes up every year during the holidays. My son and his wife have no kids. Their animals are treated like their children.

Every year we are invited to their house for a holiday dinner. Their cats have free roam of the house and their litter box is in the kitchen next to where we sit down to eat.

That is bad enough, but while we are there the cats use the litter box and then jump up on the counter (where their food is) to eat and also to be petted — all while my daughter-in-law makes the dinner.

We get so sick at this sight that we barely eat any dinner.

We look forward to spending time with them and have made a slight reference to the cat litter box, but our daughter-in-law is not about to change. To her these cats are her kids.

We are worried that if we say anything the relationship with my son will suffer. What should we do? We just don’t want to eat in that kitchen again! — Stuck in the Litter

Dear Stuck:

Cats are awful, terrible creatures. Tell them to ditch the cats and switch to dogs. Dogs are the best.

Cats are too unwieldy and no matter how much you train them, they can snap at any moment. You know what you’re getting with dogs, no surprises. Dogs also do their business OUTSIDE and not next to where you prepare food – unless you prep meals outside … on the grass/dirt.

Your daughter-in-law sounds like a crazy cat lady and they can’t be reasoned with at all. BUT, if you’re trying to lose weight this sounds like a great way to do it! Look at those cats walking around near your food and eat less! Otherwise, steer clear of cats in general. They suck.

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