Tag Archives: Daughter’s Friend

Dear John: Mom Needs To Take A Big Rip From The Grav And Chill

I have a dilemma. My daughter, who is 22, confided in me that one of her best friends from high school smokes pot.

My daughter does not hang out with her because they attend different colleges.

I was very close to this girl when she was growing up. She was at my house all the time. Her mom and I are still very good friends.

My daughter says to stay out of it and to not tell her mom.

I was very disappointed to hear this about my daughter’s friend. I’m not sure what I should do. What do you think? Should I tell the mother what the daughter is doing?

— Worried

Dear Worried,

It. Is. None. Of. Your. Business.

This young woman is an adult. An adult who is not your daughter. It is that simple.

Furthermore, you fail to mention what state you live in. Are you aware that marijuana use is becoming more acceptable and is legal in some states? Because it is.

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“Jaw With John” – Wedding Gift Dilemma

A friend of my daughter’s (and not a particularly close friend) is getting married in a month.

I have been invited to the wedding.

It is more than a three-hour drive, so I’ve already made up my mind not to attend.

I have only met this young lady one time.

What is my socially correct obligation? Is it necessary for me to buy her a gift? I am not a stingy person, but the going rate for cash gifts is around $150 in our area. Your thoughts are appreciated. — Wedding Vexed

Dear Vexed:

You don’t have to attend if you don’t want to. Politely decline and be on your way. Furthermore, since you are not attending it is not necessary for you to buy a gift, let alone $150.

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“Jaw With John” – Void The Check, Not The Friend

I have a friend whose daughter and mine were classmates in intermediate and middle school. Although our daughters moved on to different high schools, we remained close friends. Our daughters graduated the same year but three weeks apart.

She sent my daughter a graduation gift, a check for $100. I reciprocated with a check of the same amount to her daughter when she graduated.

Weeks later, we went out to lunch with two other friends. After lunch, she tried to return the check I gave to her daughter. I politely said, “No,” adding that it was for her daughter — just an even exchange of gifts.

A month later, I noticed she still had not deposited my check.

I sent her an email reminding her to do so and that I hoped she had not lost the check. I did not get a response. It’s been almost seven months but she has not deposited the check.

Our other friends told me to let it go.

I am really confused about this. There was no argument — in fact, I gave her birthday and Christmas gifts months later, which she accepted and thanked me for. What should I do? — Bewildered Friend

Dear Bewildered:

After some period of time don’t checks become void if they haven’t been cashed? I know very little about nuances of finance, but I think this check is kaput.

For some reason, she doesn’t want your money. Yet she is perfectly OK with giving you HER money. It’s very confusing and may be an issue of pride. You have tried your best to see why she won’t accept and she has repeatedly tried to return the check to you. I think it might be time to throw in the towel and void the check yourself.

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