Tag Archives: dating

Dear John: Teenage Daughter Is Dating A Weirdo, By My Standards

My daughter is 19 and lives with me. She is seeing a 26-year-old man who has a child with another woman he didn’t marry.

When my daughter goes out with him, he keeps her out until 3:30 a.m. or later. He has done this twice that I know of. I had a conversation with him, and he assured me he would make sure she is home before midnight, to no avail.

I don’t think he’s good for my daughter. Should I forbid her from seeing him (because she lives in my house) or let her make her own decision? We are not going to raise a baby out of wedlock! — TEEN’S DAD

Dear Dad:

Forbidding a teenager to do something will just make them do it more. Take it from me. When my mom forbid me from watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit because she found the sexy Jessica Rabbit, well – too sexy, that only made me watch it whenever she wasn’t around.

In regards to the other thing, firstly why is a 26-year-old dating a 19-year-old? That’s just weird and a little creepy on so many levels. I get that it’s legal and everything but a year ago your daughter was in high school and this dude has been, presumably, out of college for at least three years…I dunno, maybe I’m being a prude here but he’s a weirdo. Secondly, talk with her and tell her how you feel! You can literally show her an example (her current BF) about what can happen if you have a child young and you are not prepared for it. After that, you just hope she heard you because she is legally an adult and no longer under your “rule” so to speak.

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“Jaw With John” – What Happens Between The Sheets Should Stay Between The Sheets

I have been with my boyfriend for about eight years.

The other night we went out to dinner with my parents. One of their friends came over to the table to say hello. The conversation came around to this elderly friend’s age. She is 80 years old.

My boyfriend asked her “if she still fools around.”

We were all so embarrassed. He showed no respect to me, my parents or to their friend.

He does not think he said anything wrong. He thinks it is funny. He often talks about our sex life in a social gathering, even though he can see this makes people very uncomfortable. I feel this is a private topic. How do I handle this if it happens again? — Not Amused

Dear Not:

Woof.

Ouch.

Other synonyms for falling flat on ones face.

Your boyfriend seems to lack a filter when it comes to things of a sexual nature. This is a problem.

He’s also painfully unfunny. I recommend you talk with him in private and tell him that the things that you two do between the sheets are between the two of you and no one else. If he continually brings it up in other conversations then you might want to kick him out of the bed and see how he changes … or doesn’t.

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“Jaw With John” – Marriage Contingency Plan

My partner of three years and I are very happy together and love each other. We are in our mid-20s, live together and have discussed future plans, although neither of us feels ready for marriage yet.

We both agree that in the next five to 10 years, we’d like to be married with kids. My qualm is this: He doesn’t think that a lifelong commitment is realistic. He thinks that after an unspecified amount of time divorce or unhappiness are inevitable and that no two people can sustain a happy relationship “forever.”

I almost want to ask if he sees himself married (to anyone) and keeping separate retirement accounts — but he might actually think that’s a good idea.

Can you suggest a more level-headed approach? I want to know if I’m wasting my time with someone who does not want the same future I do.

There are good reasons people split up, but I think making this commitment with an exit plan creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What do you think? — Anxious

Dear Anxious:

He’s right about one thing: that no two people can sustain a happy relationship forever. That’s impossible. There will be ups and downs but if there truly is a connection then the storm can be weathered together.

My question to you is why do you want to be with someone who is so negative about the long term? This shows that he doesn’t believe that you and he will be together forever. If you still want to go through with marriage then you should have a contingency plan for that inevitable exit. Keep your finances separate and your ear to the ground.

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“Jaw With John” – Follow-Up To Being Excluded

I have a story like “Torn’s,” whose best friend excluded Torn’s wife from a party invitation.

When we were dating, my husband introduced me to his best friend and the friend’s wife. He told them we were serious and would likely marry. The wife then issued several party invitations to my then-boyfriend, specifically excluding me. Regardless of whatever reasons she had for her behavior, we were a couple and expected to be treated as such. We did not attend the parties (and the friendship soon ended). — B

Dear B:

I approve. This behavior is not something that should be tolerated and to nip it in the bud, sometimes, the “friendship” must end.

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“Jaw With John” – Older Man Runs Into Age Difference

*Author’s Note: I really found the header image too funny not to use.*

I’m a 61-year-old guy. I’m not married and I have no children. I regularly run into this cute girl (who is about 25) at a park where we both work out. We make passing comments to each other. Most of the time she is friendly toward me. I would like to ask her out. Do you think our age difference is too great or would it be OK to ask her out? I am in good shape because I work out most days, so I look about 10 years younger than I am. — Older but Young in Charlotte

Dear Older:

Here’s the thing: you need to build up a rapport with her before you ask her out. Don’t be that creepy old guy who hits on younger women randomly. Talk to her first. Maybe run with her and then you can casually see if she’s interested in you/available/wants to go out with a much much much much older man.

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