Tag Archives: co-worker

“Jaw With John” – So, You Failed To Create A Love Triangle

My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years and I love him, but things have seemed boring for a while now. A guy from work started flirting with me. We exchanged numbers. I told him I had a boyfriend, but we still talked.

One night he called me, upset about his past relationship. He had been drinking, so I was worried and went to his place to cheer him up. We ended up making out (that was not my intention), but I started to feel wanted again.

Fast-forward two weeks and he doesn’t talk to me anymore. We used to text multiple times a day and he would call me every day.

I’m just confused as to what this guy wants from me. I also want to know if it’s worth it to mess up what I have with my boyfriend by breaking it off with him to try things with this new guy, who doesn’t want a relationship. To be honest, I only wanted something physical with this guy anyway. I’m just not sure what to do. — Confused

Dear Confused:

He’s not into you.

I recently met a girl who was awesome in every way. We clicked on our senses of humor, likes & dislikes etc. Then the conversations and messages were spaced further and further apart until they stopped altogether. I got the hint that she wasn’t interested anymore and I deleted her number. You’re also clearly not that invested in your boyfriend since you go around making out with co-workers so it’s probably time to cut him loose as well.

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“Jaw With John” – Don’t Let Him Be The Reason For The Teardrops On Your Guitar

My office hired a new employee two months ago that I’m very attracted to.

We have become great friends and enjoy the other’s company greatly.

I’ve never been so drawn to someone. I feel like a lovesick kid! I think about him all the time and find reasons to be around him, such as running errands with him or going out to lunch together. The problem is that he has a girlfriend, but I don’t know how serious it is because he’s never shown me a picture of her or mentioned her name.

I’ve tried to tell myself to get over him and move on, but my affections grow stronger every day. He’s everything I’ve been looking for in a romantic partner and we have such a strong connection. I’ve kept my attraction for him hidden because I don’t want to make him feel awkward, but it’s getting harder to do. What should I do? — Heartsick

Dear Heartsick:

“She hardly ever thought of him. He had worn a place for himself in some corner of her heart, as a sea shell, always boring against the rock, might do. The making of the place had been her pain. But now the shell was safely in the rock. It was lodged, and ground no longer.”
– T.H. White
The Once and Future King

Your situation reminds me of a time in my collegiate life when I would go down to the front desk when a certain girl was working there and get trash bags for my room. By month’s end I had a surplus of bags and nothing to fill them with, a date with her included.

Unrequited love is a fool’s errand. A door that can only be walked through one way. But you don’t know where the door is.

It sucks.

I once had a thing for a co-worker and we got along well and she seemed as genuinely interested in me as I was in her. She mentioned, in passing, that she had dated some people but never truly gave the impression that she was seeing anyone. So one day, as the day was drawing to a close I saw her and decided that I would ask her out. I did. It turns out she had a boyfriend, but hey, at least I tried. You owe yourself that much. Ask him if he’d like to see you outside of work. The worst thing he can do is confirm your suspicions.

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“Jaw With John” – Couple Acts As One Not Two

I recently went on a weekend getaway/retreat with several co-workers (not officially a work event). I was driving one of the cars, and I brought along a co-worker and her boyfriend.

The trip cost roughly $90 in gas. I would have expected each passenger (myself included) to contribute a third. But my co-worker offered only $45, saying, “There’s our half.”

I try to avoid pettiness, and don’t want to cause a rift with a co-worker over $15 — after all, it’s more about the principle than the money — but I also want to be more aware of what the rules are when splitting costs with a couple. — Not Cheap, Just Curious

Dear Curious:

Lesson learned: you should have set up the details before you left on the trip.

You’re not going to get those $15 back. Let it go and learn from this experience.

BUT, I hate hate hate hate hate it when couples or groups try to do this sort of thing. They think of themselves at JeffAndAmy and not Jeff and Amy. They pay for things as a single entity because they are together. Leaving the third wheel to pay for him/herself. You end up paying more than your fair share or what you actually bought and are left wondering “WTF just happened?!” Establish payment structure up front next time and everything will be butter, aka smooth.

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“Jaw With John” – It’s A Wedding Invitation, Not Brain Surgery

A co-worker’s daughter is getting married and I have been invited to the wedding. We have had our differences at work and I am surprised to have been invited.

A few other co-workers (and myself) have never even met the bride or groom. I feel that it is hypocritical to attend this wedding simply because we work together. We are not friends, and I do not want to go.

I come from a large family and have heard brides complain when people they do not know are invited and attend their weddings. Other co-workers who have been invited question the invitation too. What is your take on this? Should I feel obligated to go?

— Miffed Co-worker

Dear Miffed:

No one is telling you that you have to go to this wedding. It’s an invitation. You can politely decline and be on your way. You think too highly of yourself to suggest that going to this wedding is hypocritical just because you and your coworker have had your differences at times. Get over it yourself.

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