Tag Archives: child

“Jaw With John” – 9-Year-Old Cannot Be Reasoned With When It Comes To Good Habits

My 9-year-old daughter has several friends whom we love and who are good buddies for her. However, the rules in their homes are different from those at ours. One friend in particular, “Sarah,” eats a lot of junk food and watches more TV than we allow. When my daughter asks why she can’t have chips and ice cream after school, or why we watch movies only on weekends, I remind her that good food and exercise make her healthy, and with less TV she does better in school.

I’m not interested in critiquing Sarah or her family, who are lovely people we really like. However, I do want to make the connection between unhealthy lifestyle choices and possible consequences because this is a subject we’ll keep revisiting as my daughter grows up.

I have been trying to say things like, “Everyone makes their own decisions. This is why we do it this way,” but at 9, my daughter sees things as pretty black or white. If our way is right, then their way must be wrong. I’m totally failing at subtlety. Is there a better approach that I could take to talking about this without invoking comparisons? — LIFESTYLE CHOICES IN SOUTH DAKOTA

Dear Lifestyle Choices,

There is no reasoning with a 9-year-old! Doi!

Because some [children] aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some [children] just want to watch the world burn.” OK, not really, but I just like that quote from¬†The Dark Knight¬†and felt like playing around with it for this response.

I remember growing up I had to go across the street to my friend Thomas’ house to play PlayStation or Virtual Boy (I’m dating myself here, whatever). I had asked for a gaming system for years and years but was repeatedly denied because my parents wanted me to focus on school and playing with friends and being outside and blah blah blah. (I did have a Game Boy, by the way, so that kept me occupied)

The lesson here is that every parent parents their child’s behavior and actions differently. You need to be firm with your daughter and tell her why you are making the choices you are. Because, let’s face it, you are looking out for her best interests so that, in the long run, she can be healthy and develop good habits. You are her parent, not her friend, tell her what’s what and stick to your guns!

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“Jaw With John” – An Adult Making Fun Of A Child, Real Classy

My father’s longtime partner of over 30 years, “Vivian,” has started to make mean remarks to my 3-year-old son. For instance, she makes fun of his speech (he cannot pronounce “L” and “S” yet).

She will imitate him in a mean voice and then laugh. She has never been mean to my older daughter or to me, so this has really caught me off guard. In the moment I’m so at a loss for words and emotional that I don’t respond, which may be for the best, since my children are present.

Now I am angry. I don’t know if I should refuse to let my children around her. My father is non-confrontational and will not get involved.

Should I sit down with her and tell her that her behavior is unacceptable (which I doubt will go well), or is it best to let this go? — Angry Mom

Dear Angry:

Vivian sounds like a real piece of work. Making fun of children, like super young children, and laughing about it, is not tolerated. She sounds like she doesn’t know any better, which sounds impossible but it happens. You need to sit her down and tell her that her behavior is unacceptable. He’s a child!

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“Jaw With John” – BF Has A Been Busy

My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years and have a 9-year-old child.

My boyfriend has three kids from a previous relationship. His ex also had another child a few months younger than mine (from a one-night stand).

Naturally that child thinks my boyfriend is its father and calls him “Dad.”

My boyfriend and his family provide for this child financially just as they do for his biological children. No one has ever mentioned or explained this to the child.

I can’t help but resent my boyfriend for claiming this child, and he has also made it clear that he doesn’t want any more children because he has “five” already.

When is the appropriate time or age to tell this child the truth? Or am I being selfish, since my boyfriend is the only father the child knows? — Truth Hurts

Dear Truth:

Your boyfriend will tell the child that he is “not the father”, as Maury would say, when he is ready and when he feels it is the right time for the child. He’s being supportive and helping provide for two families here and you’re hung up on this kid – who’s not his – calling him “Dad”. Grow up. Support your boyfriend. He’s trying to do the right thing.

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“Jaw With John” – This Ex Needs An Axe

I knowingly got involved with a man who told me he was living with his ex-wife and child. He said they had reconciled “because of the kid.” He made it clear that he was seeking a lover because he was unhappy.

We carried on this affair for many months. I was not the only one he was unfaithful to. I found out he is a serial cheater that preys on vulnerable women. How I learned this information was through suspicion and much digging online. (I could be a private detective by now!)

My question is: Do I share this info with the ex-wife, with whom he is still living and who is very much involved in his life?

I know because she called him a lot when we were together, and he was obviously lying to her about his whereabouts and happenings. I have since stopped seeing him. — Concerned

Dear Concerned:

Short and sweet here: I would say yes, share with his ex-wife. If she doesn’t know already who her ex-husband truly is, then she needs to know so she can cut ties with him and have the opportunity to raise her child in a proper, nurturing environment. Good for you on not seeing him anymore. He sounds like a total dick.

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