Tag Archives: cell phone

“Jaw With John” – Call Him, Maybe?

My boyfriend and I are leaving soon to go to different colleges. Our universities are three hours away from each other.

The thing is — I am scared!

I trust him, but he cannot communicate well. I know it sounds childish but when he takes a really long time to answer texts, I worry about how a long-distance relationship will work.

Sometimes he takes hours to text me back, unless I end my text with a question mark.

I love him and he loves me. We have talked about our future and I can see having a future with him, but what should I do?

I do not want to be upset and I do not want to break up, but if he never listens to how serious I am when it comes to communication, do you think I should move on?

Please help me. — College Girl

Dear College Girl:

Here’s a novel idea: CALL HIM!! I know it’s generally frowned upon by today’s youth, but that’s what those machines were originally built for … if you didn’t know.

Or, since you already know how to get a response from him, you could just end every single text with a question mark. Thus prompting him to respond. But he doesn’t seem that dumb to need a question mark to respond quickly since he’s bound to have responded to other messages without that punctuation. Or is he…?

In any event, long-distance relationships rarely work out – especially when it comes to college. Even though you are a mere three hours away it will feel like a lifetime. If it’s this hard to get him to respond when you are still in the same zip code, then imagine that compounded with the challenges of college and whatever else life brings. Instead of hours, you could be waiting days for a response. And that’s no bueno.

I’m not telling you to break things off with him over a few delayed text responses, but, college is tough enough without having to worry about a boy who doesn’t respond in a timely manner. So, like I said: CALL HIM! And if that doesn’t work, give him a taste of his own medicine and delay responding to him, but make sure you turn off the “read receipt” before you do.

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“Jaw With John” – The Meal Doesn’t Come With A Side of Mobile Phone

My husband and I are parents of seven adult children, ranging in age from 25 to 34. Recently two of our kids (and one spouse) came home for a visit and we noticed they were never far from their cellphones and even at the kitchen table were on their phones texting or checking their mail.

We consider these times together special and my husband, especially, noticed that they were less “present” when on their phones texting, etc.

This Christmas all kids and spouses are coming home for our reunion. Everyone comes home and these are special times, especially since we now have grandchildren.

The out-of-towners all stay with us.

Our question is about the cellphone use during our celebrations and meal times. When we are together at the Christmas dinner table we wish our kids would put the phones away, except for picture taking.

My husband wants to set some rules during these family gatherings.

I am hesitant to set the stage with rules that might make some of these adults crabby.

What do you think? — Babi

Dear Babi:

These are the times we live in unfortunately. Where someone cannot go 10 minutes without checking their phone (this is especially true in movie theatres, but that’s another ball of wax). I admit, I am guilty of this techno-sin when it comes to mealtime but I am vigilant in my mission to stop such activity completely. At dinner, and other meals at home, I make sure to put my phone far enough away from me like in another room or at the other end of the table so I can be present in the meal and the company I am in. If I am out to dinner with friends or family or on a date I keep my phone in my pocket and don’t bring it out until it’s appropriate.

Ideally you would have all of your guests leave their phones, tablets, gaming devices etc in another room at mealtime but that could mean someone could sneak away and check it. If you were to gather them all up and have them on a table nearby, face down, it would really test their resolve. They would hear the phones vibrating on the table but not know whose phone was buzzing. It’d be like a murder mystery that you don’t want to solve because it would disrupt the meal. I have been on dinners with friends (not a bunch of people mind you) where the first person to bring out their phone had to buy a round of drinks for everyone at the table. You could do something similar, except make the punishment cleaning up instead of buying drinks.

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“Jaw With John” – I Love Watching You Text People While We Hang Out…

My wife and I disagree on cellphone etiquette.

I do not think it is right to interrupt a conversation to take text messages during a date, at dinner or any time we are talking.

My wife says the opposite, that it is impolite to interrupt her texting to ask a question or for her not to respond to a text immediately, even if we are engaged in a date, dinner or conversation.

Your thoughts on this are greatly appreciated. — Admirer in Oregon

Dear Admirer:

Your wife is probably one of those people who leaves her phone on during a movie and when it vibrates with a text, she answers it and ruins the entire experience for everyone, isn’t she? Those people are the worst. They can’t leave their phone alone for 2+hours…

Is your wife a surgeon? Is she in charge of a NASA space mission? Is she the President of a country? If the answer to these questions is “No” then your wife is in the wrong here. Your wife is the one being impolite to you and others by saying that her phone/messages take precedence over the people in front of her. And for her to say that you are being impolite by asking her a question while she is texting is just plain bitch status. Whenever I am out on a date or with friends I am in that moment and look at my phone sparingly. She is being rude and needs to know that her behavior is no longer tolerated.

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“Jaw With John” – Drunk Texts Should Be Returned To Sender

I need your perspective.

My wife and I have been married for 35 years, and even though she is rarely interested in me, I don’t think she has ever been physically unfaithful. But ever since the technology has become available she has been a drunk texter. For a long time she denied it, but she finally admitted that she was sending “flirty, silly” messages to male friends of ours. Even though I told her I thought it was inappropriate and disrespectful, she insisted it was just harmless fun.

Then she received a text one night after she was asleep. I tried to ignore it, but her phone kept beeping every five minutes. So I finally got her phone out of her purse and pushed the OK button to make it stop. I didn’t read the message or anything.

The next day when she saw she had a missed text, she became unglued. She yelled at me, accusing me of reading her texts and checking her call log. When I explained what really happened, she called me a liar. That’s when I began wondering what was in there that she was so worried I would see. She claimed there was nothing, that it was just a privacy issue. So then I called her a liar and we had an ongoing dispute for a week with both of us saying a lot of mean things.

Fortunately we have mostly gotten past it, but I can’t stop wondering what was in her phone that day. I contend there should not be anything in there that her spouse could not see. And she continues to insist there isn’t and that it is just a privacy issue. What do you think? — Hurt and Confused

Dear Confused:

Whoa whoa whoa! “Even though she is rarely interested in me”??? Did you hear yourself there? I don’t think your wife loves you dude. I’ve drunk texted many times before. Sometimes these things have been as harmless as telling someone where I was. Other times they’ve been videos of me talking to my phone telling myself how drunk I am at that moment. It’s a mixed bag. But it can be dangerous and in this instance, it sounds as such.

This issue though goes BEYOND privacy and straight into possibly being unfaithful. What she is doing is not “harmless”, as she claims, since it is causing you to question your wife’s fidelity. You said it yourself that she’s not interested in you and you sound just interested enough to try and keep her around when you probably shouldn’t.

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