Tag Archives: brother

Dear John: Brother Needs To Take A Pregnant Pause Before Delivering News

Would it be rude to announce my wife’s pregnancy before her sister’s wedding next week? Do I need to wait until afterward, or is good news always welcome?

— GOOD NEWS IN THE MIDWEST

Dear Good News,

Yes, it would be rude. Don’t do it.

Before my sister got married I found out that I was accepted into an internship in South Africa, leaving a a week after her wedding. I didn’t tell her, or anyone besides my mom, until after the wedding because I didn’t want people to find out and focus their attention on me and what I was going to be doing.

I also didn’t tell anyone else in my family until I sent them an email when I boarded the plane to Johannesburg. It was fun to check my email 13+ hours later and see dozens of replies and forwards with some variation of “What!?!?”

You can wait until after your sister’s wedding to tell your friends and family that your wife is pregnant.

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“Jaw With John” – Needy Nephew Needs Nothing

Our nephew is graduating soon and he has sent family members letters asking for money for a trip he would like to take. His father is a multimillionaire and can more than afford to fund the trip.

I find it very rude. Is our nephew wrong for begging from family?

There have been no discussions whatsoever about gifts — he just slammed the family with this request.

My brother should be ashamed of himself for allowing his son to do this. It would be a little different if he had said, “If anyone is wondering what I might like …” (or something to that effect), instead of just assuming everyone was planning to give him something.

He just said he wanted to go on a trip and asked if we could help. — Frustrated at Brother

Dear Frustrated:

It’s February, how is he “graduating soon”? Most schools graduate in May or June. Also, is he of High School age or College age? Because if he’s trying to bridge the gap between High School and College then he should just be like everyone else and get a Summer job instead of, presumably, wanting to backpack across Europe. If he’s graduating from College then perhaps he has earned a bit of a vacation but he was most definitely wrong for asking for money for a trip outright.

There is no reason to be openly mad at your brother because he has not attached his name to this request. Since you feel strongly about this, tell your nephew “No”. It can be a valuable lesson for him in the future about how to approach asking for things. Or he’ll just run to Daddy Warbucks and get the money from him.

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“Jaw With John” – Money Talks, And So Does His Brother

Both my brother and I are in our early 60s. My brother “Sam” is retired but has a wife who still works and makes outstanding money.

Sam continually lectures family members and friends about how much money he has and how they should follow his advice in investing their money. He brags and tells everyone in the family how they should be living their lives.

His arrogance drives everyone crazy! I told him many times that I do not want his financial advice. I tracked all of his financial advice and finally sat him down. I showed him mathematically that if I had followed his advice over the past several years that my wife and I would have lost almost all our life’s savings.

I also told him that family members and friends think he is very arrogant. He started screaming at me, told me that he did not believe a word I said, and ran out of the room.

I haven’t heard from him in several years. He will not answer any of my correspondence. What’s the best way to make him understand that he cannot continue to behave this way? — Concerned Brother

Dear Brother:

Did he really run out of the room? Because that would be pretty damn dramatic.

Is he really that rich? I imagine your brother walking around in a pin striped suit, slicked back hair, cigar in hand constantly saying “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.” Or telling you as you pick up your cup of coffee in the morning, “Put that coffee down. Coffee’s for closers only.” But reality never lives up to your imagination…

Tracking down your brother’s past advice and telling him that he was wrong is kind of a dick move on your part. Sure he was wrong, but you didn’t have to do that to him to let him know he was wrong. You wasted a lot of time proving he was wrong and what did that accomplish? You’ve now made an enemy of your brother.

How is he making his money anyway? Perhaps you should just do as he does and not as he says. But this guy sounds like a prick, so don’t encourage him. Ultimately, the best way of dealing with people as loud as your brother is to calmly tell him “Sam, I appreciate your advice but I have my own financial plan that I am following.”

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