Tag Archives: Boyfriend Advice

Dear John: You Can Find Boyfriend In Da Strip Club

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. We are planning on moving to California together in a few months.

I flew to Monterey to job hunt, and he is supposed to be flying in soon. However, last night I found out he and his buddy went to a strip club. My boyfriend knows I’m uncomfortable with him going to strip clubs, and he assured me that they would not be going when we spoke on the phone earlier in the evening.

He says I’m controlling and childish for being angry at him. I told him it’s either me or the strip clubs — mostly just to see how he would react. His response was that freedom of choice is very important to him. I even went as far as to say if he feels the need to go to strip clubs, then I would start stripping on the side to spite him.

I’m tempted to cancel his ticket to California. I don’t want him flying here if we are just going to fight. Is this situation worth the cost of a relationship? How do I deal with someone so stubborn to the point he can’t see when he’s in the wrong? He is in the wrong, isn’t he? — CHOICE IS CLEAR


Dear Choice,

Does he visit strip clubs often? Because if he did, then I could see how that would be a problem. If he doesn’t but he still just continues to go (and you’re SUPER pissed about it) even when you’ve broadcasted your feelings about going, then it might be time to hitch your wagon to a new horse.

If you guys don’t break up, let me know when and where I can watch you dance. But HEY! If you do go that route, you might be able to spend more time with your boyfriend. Win-Win.

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Dear John: Teenage Daughter Is Dating A Weirdo, By My Standards

My daughter is 19 and lives with me. She is seeing a 26-year-old man who has a child with another woman he didn’t marry.

When my daughter goes out with him, he keeps her out until 3:30 a.m. or later. He has done this twice that I know of. I had a conversation with him, and he assured me he would make sure she is home before midnight, to no avail.

I don’t think he’s good for my daughter. Should I forbid her from seeing him (because she lives in my house) or let her make her own decision? We are not going to raise a baby out of wedlock! — TEEN’S DAD

Dear Dad:

Forbidding a teenager to do something will just make them do it more. Take it from me. When my mom forbid me from watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit because she found the sexy Jessica Rabbit, well – too sexy, that only made me watch it whenever she wasn’t around.

In regards to the other thing, firstly why is a 26-year-old dating a 19-year-old? That’s just weird and a little creepy on so many levels. I get that it’s legal and everything but a year ago your daughter was in high school and this dude has been, presumably, out of college for at least three years…I dunno, maybe I’m being a prude here but he’s a weirdo. Secondly, talk with her and tell her how you feel! You can literally show her an example (her current BF) about what can happen if you have a child young and you are not prepared for it. After that, you just hope she heard you because she is legally an adult and no longer under your “rule” so to speak.

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“Jaw With John” – He’s Got You By The Ovaries

My boyfriend and I have been dating for six years. He is 26 and I am 23. We live together and share everything. We have talked about marriage and kids many times, but we seem to have different opinions. He says we might get married, but then he changes his mind.

He sees us as pretty much “married” already (but without legal documentation) and he’s worried about our financial status if we get married. He says he’ll feel really old if we get married and that he wants to “experience life” before he gives it up for a kid.

I told him if he ever asked me to marry him I would say yes and if he wanted kids I would have them. I don’t want to push him away, but I want to be bound to him legally and religiously.

For now, we are relying on his parents financially. I just want to know for sure if we’ll take things to the next level. If not, I will stay with him regardless, I guess. How should I approach this? — Confused

Dear Confused:

So, lemme get this straight, you’ve been dating since you were 17 and he was 20? … Was that legal? Or did you Age of Extinction me and find out about Romeo & Juliet laws? Either way, I digress.

Your boyfriend talks about feeling “really old” when he gets married (NEWSFLASH: it means you’re getting older when you get married!) and wanting to “experience life” (Sounds like he doesn’t want to be tied down, maybe he’s got something on the side?) before all of that and it makes me believe that he really doesn’t want to get married or have kids at all. He has said he doesn’t want them any time soon but you two are far too young to be getting married, having kids, living on your own etc. and given that you are still looking to his parents for financial help … I don’t think marriage or a baby is right for you. Pump the brakes on the ol’ baby-maker.

Whoa whoa whoa. I just noticed something else: You want this relationship to go to the next level but you’re willing to stick with the status quo regardless … You’re a tough one to crack. You want marriage and a baby, but only if he does. You don’t want to push him away, but you can’t leave him. He seems to have you by the (female version of) balls (ovaries?). He knows what you want but won’t give in. You’re trapped in this relationship and you need to take a hard look in the mirror and see what you want and then tell your boyfriend how you’re feeling. Only then can you move forward.

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