Tag Archives: Bitch

“Jaw With John” – Marilynsanity

My uncle’s wife, “Marilyn,” is very difficult. She invites herself to other peoples’ Facebook accounts, tells humiliating stories about others and keeps tabs on other people’s private information.

She has been passive-aggressively taunting me for being single after my very difficult breakup with a girlfriend. I have not been in a stable relationship since my breakup, but both of my younger brothers have significant others, and Marilyn throws this in my face. She has also done this to those who have lost spouses and are still grieving, upsetting them deeply.

Marilyn even invited my ex-girlfriend to a private family gathering where she didn’t belong. My ex attended and was provocatively dressed (I feel just to embarrass me), and was revealing her reputation for shameless promiscuity.

My uncle can’t control Marilyn’s behavior. This type of harassment even got her slapped with a no-contact order by a family member, which she was clearly asking for.

How do I make it clear that I do not appreciate this type of humiliation and disrespect without resorting to such legal restraint? — Alienated Nephew

Dear Nephew:

Your Aunt sounds like a bitch. A bitch who wants nothing more than to stir up controversy and see how others react with no regards to their feelings. AKA a psychopath.

When I think of your aunt I’m reminded of what Alfred said when he was describing The Joker in The Dark Knight: “Because some [wo]men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some [wo]men just want to watch the world burn.”

When it comes to Facebook you can block, unfollow, or simply unfriend your aunt so she can’t see what you’re up to anymore and limit who can see your information, posts, etc. It is also possible to delete her posts. If you want to be passive aggressive right back to her you could do that. You seem averse to talking to her directly. So, beyond telling your aunt freeze bitch, there’s not much else you can do here.

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“Jaw With John” – Bro, Your Girlfriend Sucks. Time For A New One

My nephew “Hugo” was invited to his friend’s wedding. The bride’s family has limited the number of guests, so Hugo cannot bring a companion. Hugo’s girlfriend of about a year and a half (“Martha”) told Hugo he is “disrespecting their relationship” because he plans to go to the wedding without her.

Martha also said Hugo is being treated like a “B-list guest” because he did not receive his invitation until a couple of weeks before the wedding, rather than six weeks in advance, and should protest by not going. (The friend did send out a “save the date” notice months ago.)

Martha barely knows the groom. I don’t see how Hugo’s going to the wedding amounts to disrespecting their relationship, nor do I think Hugo is being treated like a B-list guest. Am I wrong? Shouldn’t he feel free to go to the wedding if he wants to? — A Meddling Aunt

Dear Aunt:

Martha sounds like a total Basic Bitch.

The invitation/guest limit clearly says that she can’t go, and she doesn’t know the groom that well anyway, but since she can’t go Hugo shouldn’t? She sounds like a drama queen and should be kicked to the curb immediately.

I fail to see how he’s “disrespecting their relationship” by going without her. He’s respecting the wedding party’s wishes. There are always lots of single and sometimes-desperate-because-they’re-seeing-their-friends-getting-married-girls at weddings. Get on with your bad self Hugo!

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“Jaw With John” – I Love Watching You Text People While We Hang Out…

My wife and I disagree on cellphone etiquette.

I do not think it is right to interrupt a conversation to take text messages during a date, at dinner or any time we are talking.

My wife says the opposite, that it is impolite to interrupt her texting to ask a question or for her not to respond to a text immediately, even if we are engaged in a date, dinner or conversation.

Your thoughts on this are greatly appreciated. — Admirer in Oregon

Dear Admirer:

Your wife is probably one of those people who leaves her phone on during a movie and when it vibrates with a text, she answers it and ruins the entire experience for everyone, isn’t she? Those people are the worst. They can’t leave their phone alone for 2+hours…

Is your wife a surgeon? Is she in charge of a NASA space mission? Is she the President of a country? If the answer to these questions is “No” then your wife is in the wrong here. Your wife is the one being impolite to you and others by saying that her phone/messages take precedence over the people in front of her. And for her to say that you are being impolite by asking her a question while she is texting is just plain bitch status. Whenever I am out on a date or with friends I am in that moment and look at my phone sparingly. She is being rude and needs to know that her behavior is no longer tolerated.

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