Tag Archives: birthday

“Jaw With John” – Might Not Be The Happiest Place On Earth For A Birthday

So, my sister’s 18th birthday is in a couple of weeks, and my parents are going to surprise her with a trip to Disney!

We live about six hours away, so it’s not a travel hassle, and we all think it’s a great idea, but … my sister is not good with surprises, and she can be, ungracious.

She doesn’t want our parents to spend a lot of money on her, so she just wants to see a movie on her birthday, but we all know that would be seriously depressing.

My parents say if she isn’t gracious about it, they’ll cancel the trip, and everyone will then be mad at her.

Should I warn my sister in advance, tell her what’s going to happen? Or, say nothing, and watch it blow up? — Birthday Brooder

Dear Brooder:

Disney what? Land? World? Paris? Tokyo? Hong Kong? You’ve got to be more specific here.

You clearly need to talk with your parents and have them ask your sister if she would like to do this. This would eliminate the surprise element of it all and also leave it open for another possible trip if she doesn’t want to go there for her birthday.

I for one would LOVE a surprise Disneyland trip for my birthday – just throwing that out there for anyone listening.

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“Jaw With John” – You Get What You Give

I have a large family and we celebrate family birthdays at a monthly get-together with a potluck dinner. The dinner is always held at my house and I usually furnish the entree.

One granddaughter and her husband never contribute anything and never bring birthday cards for the honored family members. I have specifically asked her to bring something, and I made it easy by suggesting something simple like a Jell-O salad — but still, they bring nothing. Others are beginning to complain. Should I tell her that others are wondering why she never contributes to the meal? These two always eat.

I don’t want to alienate them from the rest of the family, as we all love them and want them with us. — Wondering Gramma

Dear Gramma:

Large family eh? Sounds like you were busy? Wink wink nudge nudge.

Stay with me here because everything will make sense, I swear. Around Christmas time my family has a saying “If you don’t believe, you don’t receive.” Meaning, if you fail to believe in Santa, you will not receive any presents. It’s a way to keep that childlike spirit of Christmas around even as an adult when you know the truth. It’s not really enforced but it’s still around.

Tell your granddaughter that if they don’t feel the need to participate that when it comes time to celebrate their birthday then they will receive what they gave: nothing. It doesn’t take much to buy a card and sign it or, hell, even buy a gift card. They are doing the least possible and need to know that it is unacceptable. This will send the message loud and clear.

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“Jaw With John” – Color Me Stupid

I gave my girlfriend $250 for her birthday. She used it to have her hair done.

When she got home, she didn’t like the color. She is going back this weekend. It probably won’t be free, so who should pay? — Darryl

Dear Darryl:

What’s crackin’ Darryl? You gave her a gift and she spent it. If she gave you $20 and you went to a movie, but it ended up being awful would you expect her to give you another $20 so you could find a movie you did like? Hell no. It’s times like this that I remember a quote from Homer Simpson: “You chose fruit, you live with fruit.” Your girlfriend chose to have her hair done, she can live with it (or change it). Either way your wallet stays closed amigo!

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“Jaw With John” – It’s Time To Bring Out The Big Balloons, As Katy Perry Said

Ten years ago my friends and I were all reaching a milestone birthday. There were surprise parties, dinners and girls’ nights out to celebrate. Because I’m the youngest in the group, my birthday arrived several months after everyone else’s. When my big day came, I received no acknowledgment at all — no lunch, no calls, not even an email. I was disappointed and hurt.

Now another milestone birthday is on the horizon. I’ve received my first party invitation. I don’t want to be petty, but I don’t feel like celebrating with a group of people who forgot about me when it was my turn. I also don’t want to dredge up something that happened 10 years ago. Should I just smile, attend the parties and plan to celebrate by myself at the end of the year? — B-day Blues

Dear Blues:

You have to mention this to your friends. Celebrating your birthday alone is awful. I’ve been there. I was hundreds of miles away from home and I was sent a cake and pizza to eat/share with my friends only, for some reason (they had class or were “busy”), I was eating the cake and pizza alone. A month or two later some of those people celebrated someone’s half birthday … are you shitting me? I brought it up – I think rather loudly – and the next year they literally set my floor on fire in the shape of a “J”. If you don’t bring it up you will be eating cake and pizza alone and that’s nothing to celebrate.

Here’s a Katy Perry song to cheer you up:

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“Jaw With John” – Ugh, Her Parties Suck

Please update us on current customs, etiquette and hospitality.

My husband and I have a younger friend, “Laura.” She is a psychologist in private practice and a yoga instructor on the weekends.When she had her 35th birthday at a local bar/party room she told everyone to “order lots of food and drink.” We had a can of Sprite and a small bag of potato chips and left early. The next day Laura asked why we left without paying for our refreshments and share of the room rent.

For her 37th birthday, she solicited donations to pay off her student loan. At her 39th birthday party, she had a “smile table” for guests to pay for her dental work (I skipped parties on other years).

Now we are invited to her “wedding.” She was married last year. They are having a reception with “light snacks” on their first anniversary. On the invitation they requested contributions for fertility testing and an IVF procedure.

My husband and I like to help others. We have willingly given Laura thousands of dollars over the years. I’m a retired nurse and volunteer many hours caring for homeless people.

Should we start saving for their eventual down payment on a house? — Bewildered in Seattle

Dear Bewildered:

This girl just want people to finance her lifestyle. Don’t give in. You’ve already given more than enough. She is at the point in her life where she needs to be doing things herself and stop asking others.

There is clearly a pattern for soliciting money. She encourages people to “order lots of food and drink” and then gets mad when you don’t pay for your soda and chips? I’m willing to bet that there were some party-goers who did as they were told and when the bill came for them they must’ve been surprised because she made it sound like she was going to pay for it all. This is the kind of person who would divide up the check evenly amongst an entire group of people even though some people’s meals were significantly less. Those people annoy me.

Break the pattern. Wish her well in her marriage and leave it at that.

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