Tag Archives: birthday party

“Jaw With John” – Follow-Up To Being Excluded

I have a story like “Torn’s,” whose best friend excluded Torn’s wife from a party invitation.

When we were dating, my husband introduced me to his best friend and the friend’s wife. He told them we were serious and would likely marry. The wife then issued several party invitations to my then-boyfriend, specifically excluding me. Regardless of whatever reasons she had for her behavior, we were a couple and expected to be treated as such. We did not attend the parties (and the friendship soon ended). — B

Dear B:

I approve. This behavior is not something that should be tolerated and to nip it in the bud, sometimes, the “friendship” must end.

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“Jaw With John” – Anti-Vaxxer’s Aren’t Welcome To This Party

I have four young children. The oldest (twins) just started school.

We know some people who cannot vaccinate their children for health reasons. But we also know of others who choose not to vaccinate their children.

We are all about being inclusive and we love to entertain other children, but I don’t want parents to bring their kids to our house if they have chosen not to vaccinate. Children who can’t be vaccinated for health reasons are welcome.

As a registered nurse who works with young babies I feel very strongly about this. I have seen the tragic results of children contracting preventable diseases.

To be honest, I don’t know if I want my kids to associate with the children of parents who “think they know better.”

I thought about putting a note to parents on invitations asking children who have not been vaccinated by choice to please not attend, but I don’t know if that is appropriate and can’t figure out the wording.

Is it OK to post this warning on invitations? — Pro-Vax RN

Dear Pro-Vax:

I’ll get this out of the way now: I’m a pro-vax guy like yourself. I don’t see why these anti-vaxxers think that they know any better than doctors or modern medicine. They are LITERALLY putting their child at more risk by not getting them vaccinated. But hey, that’s their decision – a dumb one.

You can’t send out an invitation saying “Come to my party! ……… Unless you’re not vaccinated because of personal reasons.” You can’t do it. It’s not only rude, but an invasion of privacy. You’re not a school requiring a medical history for admission. You’re a birthday party.

In all honesty, it doesn’t sound like this party will happen. You want to be all inclusive, but you set up these barriers to keep some out. I don’t think you know what “all inclusive” means.

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“Jaw With John” – Partner Left Out of B-Day Celebration

My best friend has a special birthday coming up. He has invited friends to a special dinner. This invitation includes myself, other individuals and some couples. Some are people I know, and some are not.

My dilemma is that he did not invite my partner. My partner has known him and his wife as long as I have. Other couples on the guest list include people with whom we have all socialized many times.

Initially I thought her name was left off by mistake, so I called him. He explained that there was no mistake; he was inviting only people with whom he felt especially close. He said he did not include her in that category. He said there were also some other couples where he had only invited one of the partners.

My partner was devastated by being left out and I feel in a terrible quandary about whether to attend. On one hand I respect and like him so much I feel honored to be invited at all, but on the other I feel my partner’s pain and I am also hurt that she was left out.

I feel torn two ways — but I am leaning toward not attending.

Can you offer any advice to me and comment on the propriety, or lack of it, in this situation? — Torn

Dear Torn:

Your friend is kind of an asshole.

He’s picking and choosing members of couples who he wants at his party. You said he’s known the both of you for a long time and yet he wants to include only you in the celebration? That doesn’t sound like much of a friendship. It sounds like he only truly values one of you and that’s not cool.

I think you need to decline the invitation and do something with your partner on that day instead. If, when you tell him, he changes his tune and decides that you can bring your partner along, still decline. Let him know that his selfish ways aren’t tolerated.

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“Jaw With John” – Can’t Toke Up Around You

I am in a predicament. I have a good new friend who is having a birthday party he very much wants me to attend. The problem is that he has informed me that the party will be “alcohol and 420 friendly.”

I don’t have issues with the alcohol, and I live in Washington state, where recreational marijuana is legal, so that is not the issue either.

My problem is that I have PTSD caused by an abusive stepfather who was a marijuana addict.

The very smell of pot smoke sends me into flashbacks and gives me jitters.

Should I attend this party and do my best to hold it together? If not, how can I tell my friend why I am not coming, without him feeling I am judging him? — Nervous in Washington

Dear Nervous:

I can’t stand the smell of pot smoke either. It used to not bother me, when I would smoke, but after I stopped I realized that I just didn’t like the smell at all. It would be nauseating at times. That’s why edibles are the way to go.

They come in more than just brownies nowadays. You can find them in lollipops, Rice Krispie treats, cookies, chocolate etc. etc. etc. If those don’t bring out the same symptoms as the smoke then bring up the fact that you can’t be around pot smoke and see if the party can change. If not, then you might need professional help.

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“Jaw With John” – It’s Time To Bring Out The Big Balloons, As Katy Perry Said

Ten years ago my friends and I were all reaching a milestone birthday. There were surprise parties, dinners and girls’ nights out to celebrate. Because I’m the youngest in the group, my birthday arrived several months after everyone else’s. When my big day came, I received no acknowledgment at all — no lunch, no calls, not even an email. I was disappointed and hurt.

Now another milestone birthday is on the horizon. I’ve received my first party invitation. I don’t want to be petty, but I don’t feel like celebrating with a group of people who forgot about me when it was my turn. I also don’t want to dredge up something that happened 10 years ago. Should I just smile, attend the parties and plan to celebrate by myself at the end of the year? — B-day Blues

Dear Blues:

You have to mention this to your friends. Celebrating your birthday alone is awful. I’ve been there. I was hundreds of miles away from home and I was sent a cake and pizza to eat/share with my friends only, for some reason (they had class or were “busy”), I was eating the cake and pizza alone. A month or two later some of those people celebrated someone’s half birthday … are you shitting me? I brought it up – I think rather loudly – and the next year they literally set my floor on fire in the shape of a “J”. If you don’t bring it up you will be eating cake and pizza alone and that’s nothing to celebrate.

Here’s a Katy Perry song to cheer you up:

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