Tag Archives: baby shower

“Jaw With John” – Baby, Baby, Baby Ohhhhhh

My fiance and I have been together for five years. We have a son who is almost 2 years old. We have always talked about having at least one more baby.

My sister-in-law got pregnant (she’ll be having a boy), so I didn’t want to get pregnant and take the spotlight off her first pregnancy. I wanted her time to be special and threw a baby shower for her.

Yesterday my pregnant sister-in-law and I spent the whole day together, and I helped her set up her nursery. Last night I went home and I told my fiance about my day and then we got to talking about having another baby. We asked our son if he wanted a sibling and he said yes. (I know he probably doesn’t know what we are talking about.)

Would it be wrong of me to start trying to get pregnant? We want to give my sister-in-law her time to shine, but helping her yesterday made me realize how badly I wanted another baby. — Lady with Baby Blues

Dear Lady:

No, it wouldn’t be wrong. If you were pregnant at the same time it’d be a little like Father of the Bride Part II where Diane Keaton and Kimberly Williams were pregnant at the same time … minus the Martin Short hijinks. Even if you were to get pregnant right now you would still have few months of a buffer between you and your sister-in-law. You’re kind to let her have her moment in the sun but don’t let her stop you from adding to your family if you want to. I am sure she would be happy for you, and if she wasn’t then that’s her problem.

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“Jaw With John” – She’s Got Pregnancy Brain

My college friend is pregnant with her first child. When I found out she was having a baby, I was thrilled for her and offered to throw the shower (I also hosted her bridal shower a few years ago).

Her first response to my offer? “That would be great! Husband and I have already been talking about this and want to have an evening party with men and women, something nontraditional and more of a party before our lives are turned upside down.” She then started throwing out dates and other details.

I had envisioned an afternoon tea party or a mommy yoga class, but hadn’t made any firm plans. After hearing her response, I immediately got hung up on the etiquette of the situation (wait! doesn’t the hostess determine these details or at least have some input?) and my (sometimes too strongly held) principles.

With her specific and immediate expectations, I feel she would be better off hosting herself! All I want to do is excuse myself and retract my offer, but I don’t know what to say. Should I stick to my guns and refuse to host when she is dictating the terms right off the bat? Or am I being too sensitive and haven’t realized that moms-to-be are totally entitled to plan their own showers? — Old-Fashioned

Dear Old-Fashioned:

I’ve said this before but it bears repeating: no man wants to be a part of a baby shower. So this “non-traditional” party that she wants is a pretty dumb idea. She clearly has “Pregnancy Brain” and is suggesting things that are just plain illogical and downright stupid. “Mommy yoga” isn’t a good idea either, but you’ll think of another one.

You asked if you cold host/plan the party and now she has provided insight into what she wants, which is a dumb party idea, and now you don’t like that she’s pretty much planned the entire thing? Huh? Grow up. She’s taking all of the horrible parts about planning a party (planning) and has told you what to do. How much easier do you need it?

The only problem is that you need to convince her that the men & women baby shower party is an bad awful idea. Other than that, you are being too sensitive. Nudge her in a different direction.

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Don’t “Ask Amy”, Jaw with John!

I’m changing things up a bit to give my writing some variety and I figured I’d start by handing out some advice. I already read the ‘Ask Amy’ column that comes in my copy of the LA Times every day and sometimes I feel that Amy doesn’t give the best advice.

That’s where I come in.

I will choose one of the two questions asked and give my own brand of advice which I am calling ‘Jaw with John’.

Is it my advice good? I don’t know.
Will it be sarcastic? Most likely.
Will there be at least a grain of truth in my response? Absolutely.


My advice face

Without further ado.

“My brother is engaged to a great woman whom we all love. She has two kids (ages 6 and 5) from a previous marriage. As a family we all love her kids too!

She and my brother are now expecting a baby and while there is no wedding date set (a sticking point with some members of our family), my real question is regarding a baby shower.

I’ve heard of throwing a “sprinkle” for someone’s second baby, but I don’t know what is expected in this sort of situation. If we do anything we’d like it to be co-ed to involve my brother as well, but should we throw a full-on baby shower? — Eager (Almost) Aunt

Dear Eager,

Let me set the record straight. No man wants to go to a baby shower. Ever. Period. Do you think he’d enjoy sitting around watching the mother of his unborn child open breast pumps, onesies, or a book on proper kegel exercises? NO! I understand you love your brother but this sounds like unnecessary torture.

Most guys would rather be given things and stuff they need for their baby without all of the pomp and decorations. It’s either that or watch him stare awkwardly at the mother-to-be as she unwraps a “How To Lose That Baby Fat” book.

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