Tag Archives: Asshole

“Jaw With John” – Follow-Up To Being Excluded

I have a story like “Torn’s,” whose best friend excluded Torn’s wife from a party invitation.

When we were dating, my husband introduced me to his best friend and the friend’s wife. He told them we were serious and would likely marry. The wife then issued several party invitations to my then-boyfriend, specifically excluding me. Regardless of whatever reasons she had for her behavior, we were a couple and expected to be treated as such. We did not attend the parties (and the friendship soon ended). — B

Dear B:

I approve. This behavior is not something that should be tolerated and to nip it in the bud, sometimes, the “friendship” must end.

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“Jaw With John” – Partner Left Out of B-Day Celebration

My best friend has a special birthday coming up. He has invited friends to a special dinner. This invitation includes myself, other individuals and some couples. Some are people I know, and some are not.

My dilemma is that he did not invite my partner. My partner has known him and his wife as long as I have. Other couples on the guest list include people with whom we have all socialized many times.

Initially I thought her name was left off by mistake, so I called him. He explained that there was no mistake; he was inviting only people with whom he felt especially close. He said he did not include her in that category. He said there were also some other couples where he had only invited one of the partners.

My partner was devastated by being left out and I feel in a terrible quandary about whether to attend. On one hand I respect and like him so much I feel honored to be invited at all, but on the other I feel my partner’s pain and I am also hurt that she was left out.

I feel torn two ways — but I am leaning toward not attending.

Can you offer any advice to me and comment on the propriety, or lack of it, in this situation? — Torn

Dear Torn:

Your friend is kind of an asshole.

He’s picking and choosing members of couples who he wants at his party. You said he’s known the both of you for a long time and yet he wants to include only you in the celebration? That doesn’t sound like much of a friendship. It sounds like he only truly values one of you and that’s not cool.

I think you need to decline the invitation and do something with your partner on that day instead. If, when you tell him, he changes his tune and decides that you can bring your partner along, still decline. Let him know that his selfish ways aren’t tolerated.

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“Jaw With John” – Boyfriend Fell Into The Grindr

Last weekend my boyfriend told me while we were showering that he was leaving me for a man he met on the male hookup app Grindr.

That man happens to be my neighbor. My boyfriend proceeded to move out that morning, and he keeps coming around, trying to be “friends.” I tried to be cordial at first, but then one night he tried kissing me and I pushed him away.

Now I just want to be left alone, but because he’s living with my neighbor, I see him almost every day in passing, and when I do, I feel hurt. I don’t want to have to hide in my home out of fear of seeing him. Do you have any suggestions on how I can cope with this new reality? It is one I’ve never experienced before. — Sad Ex-Boyfriend

Dear Ex-Boyfriend:


I’m literally staring at the blinking cursor wondering what to say to you.

You can’t be friends with him. You can’t. It’s much easier for the dumper to move on than the dumpee because they knew it was coming and planned it. You’re stuck with the aftermath of it all and need to find a way to move on.

Try changing your routine around so that he won’t know exactly when you’re around and vice versa. You also need friends in a time like this. Friends who will agree with you that he was an asshole, or however you feel. You’ll talk it out and hopefully find some way to move on.

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“Jaw With John” – Problem Grandchild

My youngest grandson has just left from a week-long visit. He lives out of state and we rarely see him.

He is 8 years old and this was his first visit with us. We have realized that he lies, he cheats, he is incredibly rude and is basically unpleasant to be around.

This is the first grandchild with whom we have had such an unpleasant experience. His parents will expect us to invite him back next year, but we aren’t interested.

How do we address this issue with his parents? — Foundering Grandparents

Dear Grandparents:

He cheats? WTF? Are you guys playing Clue and he peeked at the cards to see if it was Colonel Mustard in the Library with the Wrench?

When I was 8 years old, I clearly remember cheating, lying, and being a brat in general but then I grew up and became only a twinge bit of an asshole.

This kid just needs to be told how to behave, and that should be by his parents. Tell them what happened and let them handle this. As far as not having him back next year, that’s cool. But don’t shut him out completely. I had a great relationship with my grandmother – that was primarily based around her taking me to see any movie I or she wanted – but it was positive nonetheless and your grandson needs that too.

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“Jaw With John” – It’s A Nice Day For A White Wedding, Without His New GF That Is

My fiance and I recently got engaged. About five years ago, his parents divorced when his dad announced he had been seeing someone else and was leaving. His mom has had a very difficult time with this. My fiance only sees his dad every few months despite being in the same city, although they text back and forth somewhat frequently. However, he has never liked his dad’s girlfriend, since he views her as the reason for his parents’ marriage ending.

Soon we are going to be making guest lists and sending out invitations for the wedding. My fiance does not want his dad’s girlfriend to attend, not only because he doesn’t like her, but because he doesn’t want to make his mom uncomfortable or cause any drama on our wedding day. I am afraid his dad might tell him that if his girlfriend isn’t allowed to come, then he won’t come either, and my fiance will regret his father not being there on his wedding day.

Do you think it’s fair to ask that his dad’s girlfriend not attend our wedding? — Wondering Fiancee

Dear Wondering:

You’re afraid of something that hasn’t happened yet. I think it’s perfectly fair to ask her not to attend. If he doesn’t want to attend because she wouldn’t be welcomed then screw him. That decision would lead m to believe that it was all about him and not about your wedding. Let the Dad know that she is not welcome and if he causes a fuss then he’s an asshole. But cross that bridge when you get to it.

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