Dear John: So, You Found A Porno In Your Host’s House

I have had an internship in a new city this summer. My dad’s friend has kindly allowed me to stay in his home while he’s away on a long vacation. He told me I can watch his movies, use his TV, and even have friends visit and sleep on the couch. I am very grateful for his generosity.

He left for his vacation in a rush, and at eye-level, on the DVD shelf, he has a pornographic movie. I have nothing morally against it, but I think it’s something he would be uncomfortable with me seeing.

A friend is coming to visit me next week, and I don’t know what to do about the DVD. What would respect his privacy more: if I don’t touch the film, or if I flip it over to hide the spine?

SURPRISED GUEST

Dear Surprised Guest,

Are you being serious?

You obviously hide it or conceal the title with other movies. I really don’t get why this is so hard.

That’s what she said.

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Dear John: No Vacancies At Second Home Because People Suck

Years ago, I bought a beautiful little cottage in the North Carolina mountains as a second home. I feel very lucky to be able to afford such a luxury and have always been generous, sharing it with family and friends. However, it has reached the point where people constantly ask to use it.

My guests have left holes in cushions, bubble gum on couches and someone’s child even peed in the bed. Only once in 10 years was I left with a thank-you note and a gift card to a local store. Most of the time I find a bottle of cheap wine. (I don’t drink.)

How can I stop this? I’m being taken advantage of. I know I’m partly at fault for being so generous. This cottage was bought for me, my children and grandchildren to enjoy.

— TOO GENEROUS

Dear Too Generous,

You stop it by saying “No.”

This is your home away from home and you get to decide who uses it. If it comes up from someone who used it in the past mention those reasons you stated above and tell them that people abused their time, and more importantly your generosity, and now it’s no longer available.

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Dear John: Religious Man Worries About Using Graphic Words In Bed

My wife and I have been married 25 years and have three adult children who no longer live with us. We are religious and belong to a conservative church.

We have a satisfying sex life. About 15 years ago we started using graphic language during our lovemaking. We find it exhilarates and enhances our experience. We do not call each other names; we use graphic words to express how good we feel during the act. The excitement I feel from this is cheaper than Viagra.

Is what we are doing wrong? We are empty nesters. I worry about what would happen if our closest religious friends knew. Would they feel the same way toward us? I believe words become wrong when they are used for the wrong motive. When I use them with my wife for better sex, my motive is pure. Do you think other religious couples enjoy this activity?

— BEDROOM SECRET IN WEST VIRGINIA

Dear Bedroom Secret,

Pro-tip: If you don’t want people to know about your sex life…well, don’t talk about your sex life!

What you are doing is not wrong so long as it’s not abusive and is consensual.

I get the feeling that other religious couples might be doing a bit more than just using graphic words…if you get what I mean.

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Dear John: It’s A Dog Eat New Ladyfriend World Out There

My late wife passed away two years ago. We always had a dog in our house. He died a year ago. I now have a new lady love in my life, but she doesn’t want a pet in her house. I’m dying to have another dog, and I don’t know what to do. Please advise.

— PETLESS IN TEXAS

Dear Petless,

Get a new lady. Dogs are the best.

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Dear John: Mom Has Discovered The “Internship Wall”

My son, a junior in college, is trying to get a summer job. His degree is challenging, and he has a good work ethic plus job experience. Because he hasn’t had much luck applying online, I have been calling local businesses to see what’s available while he’s working hard at school.

A problem I’m encountering is something I never had to deal with in my own job search. It’s companies asking if he wants an internship. They say they can’t pay him to train him. Can you explain the basis of this response?

— WANTS TO KNOW IN PENNSYLVANIA

Dear Wants To Know,

They want free labor in exchange for “experience”. Sometimes this can lead to a full-time position. The other times it becomes just a line on a resume.

As I search for a more permanent job, I have found myself banging into the “Internship Wall”. I find a position I think I could do, that’s not listed as an internship, and as I read through the job description I get to the end where it says that there is no salary. I hate it! And the jobs that are deemed “introductory” require 3-5 years experience. How…? What…? It’s very frustrating!

One thing I think you need to do is put down the phone and let your son do the talking. If you find a company, forward it on to him and let him make the first introduction. There is nothing worse than having someone’s mom call and say that her Little Timmy needs a job. You gotta let him do it on his own.

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