“Jaw With John” – Let Husband Swing Somewhere Else

My husband wants to be with other women. He has spent the last 12 years asking for a threesome. I love him and don’t want to share him with the world, but he doesn’t love me the same.

We have been together more than 29 years. He says he just wants to have fun. Since I’m not interested in swinging with him and others, should I just get a divorce? I believe he won’t be complete until he gets to enjoy his life the way he wants, and I’m tired of having my feelings hurt each time he meets someone he wants to be with.

I’m a 51-year-old woman who is still very sexually active, yet I am not enough for him. I have tried everything. I’m tired. — DOESN’T WANT TO SHARE HIM

Dear Doesn’t Want To Share,

The situation you and your husband are in reminds me of this scene from Old School:

It seems as if your husband is experiencing the same thing as Will Ferrell’s character…only 29 years later.

I feel that you, just as in the movie, are unfortunately on the road for divorce. You have reached the point where an unstoppable force (husband) has met an immovable object (you). You won’t blink and compromise on your morals and he’s like a dog with a bone(r). It’s time to find a lawyer and let him wet his whistle somewhere else.

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“Jaw With John” – Graduate Faces Ageism, Kinda, Sorta, Not Really … It’s For A Party

I’m a 22-year-old college student on the verge of graduating this May. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for more than five years, and I am extremely close with his family, especially his sister “Claudia” and her three children (ages 6, 3 and 6 months).

My parents are throwing me a graduation party at their home, and they don’t want any guests under the age of 10. How do I tell Claudia — a dear friend — that her children won’t be invited without upsetting her? (I have small cousins who won’t be attending either.)

It truly is nothing personal, but I know she will probably take it personally. I don’t want to cause drama, but I do want to honor my parents’ wishes that no small children be present. How do I tell her? Help! — SOON-TO-BE GRADUATE

Dear Soon-To-Be Graduate,

Unfortunately, you are merely a guest at this party. Etiquette dictates that you adhere to the hosts rules and, if she’s invited, tell Claudia that she cannot bring her young children but do mention that other young children will not be present either. It sucks, I know but dems are da rules! And if you want to throw a party (not in opposition to the one thrown by your parents) where there are no age limits, go ahead!

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“Jaw With John” – A Potential One That Got Away Shouldn’t Anchor You Down

“I have been with my boyfriend for two years. Until recently, we were inseparable and I loved his company. I got a job that required me to temporarily relocate and be on my own, so we saw each other only every other week. During that time, I gained a better understanding of who I am and how I want to spend my time.

Since then, I have realized that my boyfriend and I may not be as compatible as I once thought. We discussed it, and he’s willing to do anything to make it work. But some things can’t be changed, such as his interests and small quirks he has. I’m having a hard time because I want to break things off, but then I worry that he could be “the one that got away.” Any advice would be appreciated. — LOOKING FOR THE ONE

Dear Looking,

It looks as though absence did not make your heart grow fonder.

You’ve had the opportunity to take a step back and examine things from a far. And from that distance, you’ve seen that maybe this thing you thought was a well-oiled machine was in fact being held together by duct tape and bubble gum.

You shouldn’t be with someone because they may end up being “the one that got away.” That’s not fair to you or your boyfriend. It would be cheating you and him out of potential happiness somewhere else. It sounds like it’s time to let him go and let him find someone who shares his interests and enjoys his quirks.

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“Jaw With John” – College Student To Be Needs A Wake Up Call

My son “Jake” is headed to college in the fall, and I want his last year at home to be memorable and happy. He’s a good student and has been admitted to the college of his choice. The problem is, he can’t wake himself up in the morning. He switches off the alarm and goes back to sleep. I must go up to his room several times to wake him because he won’t get up the first time.

Jake is otherwise independent. He does his own laundry and keeps his room spotless. I’m spending a large part of my savings on his tuition, and I’m worried that unless he can wake himself in the mornings, he won’t get to classes on time.

I have tried talking to him about putting the alarm on “snooze” instead of turning it off, but nothing works. My husband suggests we pour a glass of cold water on Jake’s face 10 minutes after the alarm goes off. Can you help us solve this problem? — UP ALREADY IN NEW JERSEY

Dear Up,

You need to hit the snooze yourself.

He needs to learn to get up on his own. I assume that at this point he drives himself, or is in a carpool, for school, so, if he continually wakes up late and gets to school late then that’s on him. He’ll learn VERY quickly to get up with his alarm. Which will then prepare him for college life and being accountable.

You need to tell him that there isn’t going to be a “wake up call” if he ignores his alarm once he’s away at school anymore. You also need to tell him that this is a huge financial undertaking for you and your husband and he needs to take it seriously.

Listen, in college he might not have any early morning classes. He could very well choose courses that only happen in the late morning/early afternoon. It’s entirely possible that he could still turn off his alarm but still get to class on time. But, that’s probably not going to happen. Everyone has at least one 8am class during their four years. He needs to understand the implications if he does snooze through class.

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“Jaw With John” – Gym Routine Thrown For A Loop: How To Deal

“For the past five years, I have been using the (very small!) exercise room in my apartment complex every day after work. It’s an important part of my routine. A couple of weeks ago, a new girl started coming into the exercise room shortly after I start my workout (it’s a little crowded, but no problem).

Last week, she started coming in just a few minutes before I get there. She puts her TV show on (very loudly), uses the machine I always use, and when I walk in at my usual time, I must use an old machine I don’t like and watch her horrible show.

I have lived here longer and feel I have earned my time in the gym, and she is being sneaky by coming in just before I do. I cannot come in earlier since I get there as soon as I get off work.

I’m tempted to exert my seniority! I feel wronged, even though I know it’s not my personal gym. Is there anything I can do when I feel snubbed like this? — Worked Up (Not Out) In Ohio

Dear Worked Up,

I’ll refer you to the adage of “First Come, First Served”. Meaning, obviously, that whoever gets there first gets to decide what machine they use and what is watched on the TV. Get there earlier and you’ll be able to work out how you want. Or go at a different time altogether! Otherwise, you’re SOL and need to suck it up.

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