Monthly Archives: August 2018

Dear John: Mom Feels That 3rd Time Is Not The Charm For Daughter

My daughter is on her third marriage to a pretty nice guy, but she’s also in regular contact with her first husband by text, email, and phone. And now, her present husband is also in contact with an ex-girlfriend (hanging out, having lunch, etc.). What part of this picture am I not getting?

— SUSPICIOUS MOM AND IN-LAW IN ARIZONA

Dear Suspicious,

You are getting the entire picture. Your daughter is either on the verge of ending yet another marriage or they are trying to get into swinging.

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Dear John: Friends Have Abused Free Rides To And From Airport

We are good friends with a couple who have taken two very nice vacations a year for the last several years. We are all in our late 60s.

When they book their trips, they intentionally fail to include ground transportation to and from the airport. They rely on having friends take them. The airport is about 45 minutes from where we live. They never offer to cover gas or parking for the trips. I feel it’s inconsiderate and poor manners. The wife is a very good friend. Her husband books the vacations, and she has to do the “begging.”

My husband and I take a limo to the airport. None of us lack the money for vacations. We now just make excuses to not accommodate them. I would appreciate your opinion. Should we just tell them the truth?

— AGGRAVATED IN ATLANTA

Dear Aggravated,

Goodness, gracious. These people!

I know these type of people.

These are the people who, in college, would ask for someone to pick them up from the airport when there was a FREE SHUTTLE that came every 10 minutes and dropped off directly across the street from campus! Whenever I would hear someone ask for a ride to and from the airport, I would always tell them “You know the shuttle is free and can be caught at the CalTrain station across from campus, right???” And they would stare at me with a Bus??? look and say they didn’t want to wait for the bus…SMDH. Gah!!! Now, I’m just getting mildly infuriated!

Anyway, back to you!

You should inform them of these businesses called a taxi or rideshare companies that perform the task of picking up and dropping off people at various places. They are truly remarkable.

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Dear John: So, You Found A Porno In Your Host’s House

I have had an internship in a new city this summer. My dad’s friend has kindly allowed me to stay in his home while he’s away on a long vacation. He told me I can watch his movies, use his TV, and even have friends visit and sleep on the couch. I am very grateful for his generosity.

He left for his vacation in a rush, and at eye-level, on the DVD shelf, he has a pornographic movie. I have nothing morally against it, but I think it’s something he would be uncomfortable with me seeing.

A friend is coming to visit me next week, and I don’t know what to do about the DVD. What would respect his privacy more: if I don’t touch the film, or if I flip it over to hide the spine?

SURPRISED GUEST

Dear Surprised Guest,

Are you being serious?

You obviously hide it or conceal the title with other movies. I really don’t get why this is so hard.

That’s what she said.

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Dear John: No Vacancies At Second Home Because People Suck

Years ago, I bought a beautiful little cottage in the North Carolina mountains as a second home. I feel very lucky to be able to afford such a luxury and have always been generous, sharing it with family and friends. However, it has reached the point where people constantly ask to use it.

My guests have left holes in cushions, bubble gum on couches and someone’s child even peed in the bed. Only once in 10 years was I left with a thank-you note and a gift card to a local store. Most of the time I find a bottle of cheap wine. (I don’t drink.)

How can I stop this? I’m being taken advantage of. I know I’m partly at fault for being so generous. This cottage was bought for me, my children and grandchildren to enjoy.

— TOO GENEROUS

Dear Too Generous,

You stop it by saying “No.”

This is your home away from home and you get to decide who uses it. If it comes up from someone who used it in the past mention those reasons you stated above and tell them that people abused their time, and more importantly your generosity, and now it’s no longer available.

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Dear John: Religious Man Worries About Using Graphic Words In Bed

My wife and I have been married 25 years and have three adult children who no longer live with us. We are religious and belong to a conservative church.

We have a satisfying sex life. About 15 years ago we started using graphic language during our lovemaking. We find it exhilarates and enhances our experience. We do not call each other names; we use graphic words to express how good we feel during the act. The excitement I feel from this is cheaper than Viagra.

Is what we are doing wrong? We are empty nesters. I worry about what would happen if our closest religious friends knew. Would they feel the same way toward us? I believe words become wrong when they are used for the wrong motive. When I use them with my wife for better sex, my motive is pure. Do you think other religious couples enjoy this activity?

— BEDROOM SECRET IN WEST VIRGINIA

Dear Bedroom Secret,

Pro-tip: If you don’t want people to know about your sex life…well, don’t talk about your sex life!

What you are doing is not wrong so long as it’s not abusive and is consensual.

I get the feeling that other religious couples might be doing a bit more than just using graphic words…if you get what I mean.

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