Monthly Archives: June 2018

Dear John: Friend Wants More Benefits

During the last year, a female friend of mine has started suggesting that she wants more from our relationship than just a friendship. She has had a history of doing this whenever she becomes friends with a guy.

When she started sending me pictures that became more and more suggestive, I decided to distance myself from her. But in the last month, she has been getting increasingly bold with her advances. How do I handle this without hurting her? — FRIEND AND NOTHING MORE IN IOWA

Dear Friend,

She wants what she can’t have and in this instance that is you! She sounds like the kind of person who is in to the “thrill of the hunt”, if you will. But you, you want nothing to do with her. Are you sure you want nothing to do with her? I mean, are the photos nice? Asking for a friend. If you don’t want anything to do with her or her advances you need to put your foot down and tell her directly “Listen Karen, I appreciate our friendship but I am not interested in taking things further.” If she ignores your words and presses on, then you get to running and run as far away as your legs can take you!

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Dear John: You Can Find Boyfriend In Da Strip Club

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. We are planning on moving to California together in a few months.

I flew to Monterey to job hunt, and he is supposed to be flying in soon. However, last night I found out he and his buddy went to a strip club. My boyfriend knows I’m uncomfortable with him going to strip clubs, and he assured me that they would not be going when we spoke on the phone earlier in the evening.

He says I’m controlling and childish for being angry at him. I told him it’s either me or the strip clubs — mostly just to see how he would react. His response was that freedom of choice is very important to him. I even went as far as to say if he feels the need to go to strip clubs, then I would start stripping on the side to spite him.

I’m tempted to cancel his ticket to California. I don’t want him flying here if we are just going to fight. Is this situation worth the cost of a relationship? How do I deal with someone so stubborn to the point he can’t see when he’s in the wrong? He is in the wrong, isn’t he? — CHOICE IS CLEAR

 

Dear Choice,

Does he visit strip clubs often? Because if he did, then I could see how that would be a problem. If he doesn’t but he still just continues to go (and you’re SUPER pissed about it) even when you’ve broadcasted your feelings about going, then it might be time to hitch your wagon to a new horse.

If you guys don’t break up, let me know when and where I can watch you dance. But HEY! If you do go that route, you might be able to spend more time with your boyfriend. Win-Win.

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Dear John: Every Rose Has A Thorn. Even An Artificial One

My brother-in-law died a month ago and was cremated by the local affiliate of a prominent funeral home. To make it easier for my sister, I accompanied her to the mortuary to pick up her husband’s remains. I walked in alone, and as I returned to the car with his urn, a young funeral home employee in a black suit and scuffed shoes followed me. Through the window of the car, he presented my sister an artificial red rose and said, “We’re sorry for your loss.”

My sister and I were appalled by the insincerity of this gesture, and I called and told the funeral home director that the sentiments were as phony as the rose. He said, “I thought it was a great idea,” and couldn’t understand our reaction. Were we wrong? — RESENTING PHONY SENTIMENTS

Dear Resting:

Daaaaaaaaaayummmmm! Calling out the man’s shoes like that!??! Not cool. You should’ve just politely declined. That’s it.

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Dear John: Placard Abuse By Friend Irks Her

I have a friend who uses her elderly mother’s handicap placard to park in handicap spots even when her mother is not in the car. My friend is able-bodied. I think this is wrong. Handicap parking spots should be reserved for people who truly need them. When she offers to drive me somewhere, how should I handle it? — UNSURE IN CLEVELAND

Dear Unsure,

It is wrong. It is also illegal. If she offers you a ride somewhere you need to speak up and voice your opinion. Other than that, take public transit (if possible) or use rideshare apps (again, if possible) to reach your destinations. Or, you could just call the police on her – but then that could result in her losing the placard when her mom is the one who actually needs it.

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