Monthly Archives: May 2018

Dear John: A Free Room With No View, And You’re Complaining?

What do you do if your friends have graciously given you several nights free at a lovely beach hotel, but your room faces a huge wall covered by a black tarp — a construction site? We’ve been told that no other rooms are available. — ROOM WITH NO VIEW

Dear Room,

You suck it up. You were given a FREE ROOM. F – R – E – E, free.

Also, isn’t the point of vacation to actually go somewhere and not spend it at the hotel the entire time? Get out, lather up with SPF 50, and enjoy the beach and the free room.

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Dear John: Mom’s Fears Are Like Riding A Bike

**After a long hiatus for some reason – most likely boredom – I have decided to return to the advice game but with a little re-branding. Instead of being called Jaw With Jaw I have decide to go with the more traditional Dear John. Yes, it’s cheesy, I know. But it also gets the point across of what I am replying to at times. You will still be able to search for the keyword Jaw With John but know that I have now called my column Dear John.**

I need advice about my son. He has started doing bicycle training with a coach and some other cyclists, and he likes it a lot. But I continually hear about accidents with bicycles, and every time he goes, I am frightened for him.

My husband was a cyclist for many years, and he encourages him. I want to do the same, but fear stops me. What must I do? I pray every time he goes and surrender him to God. Is this the right way? — FEARFUL IN NICOSIA, CYPRUS

Dear Fearful:

All you can do is pray. Unless you want to follow him out there and take up cycling yourself!

But in all honesty, this isn’t the Tour de France. And most of the cyclists I come in contact with – not literal contact! I have not hit a cyclist with my car before! – are very vocal (and really, they’re a-holes: they rarely stop at stop signs, the ride much faster than the actual road speed limit, they take up full lanes when they’re not supposed to, etc etc etc) so if something should happen, I think the other cyclists with him will be there to help out. They will also prepare him for riding on his own and guide him on what to do – as can your husband. So relax, mom!

Just make sure he wears a helmet!

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