“My friend, “Dave,” has been dating his girlfriend “Polly” for more than a year. When I was visiting, I asked her why there was half-eaten food everywhere, and she said, “Oh, I’ll just leave that for Dave to clean up.” At this point Dave was working 35 hours a week, plus college, while she, fresh out of high school, had no job or obligations of any kind.
When I talked to Dave about this, he said that things would change when they officially moved in together. Guess what — nothing has changed. She works part time and Dave is working nonstop. I told him he needs a helpful partner, and now is the time for Polly to start growing up.
He said he’s afraid to have that conversation with her because he doesn’t want her to get mad. I’ve wondered if I should speak directly to her.
I think she’s suffering from Princess Syndrome. He’s killing himself trying to provide for her and she, seemingly, will not lift a finger.
I’m worried for my friend. He used to be so adventurous, but now he’s just overwhelmed and tired. I’ve tried to talk to him, but the boy is too love-struck to see sense. Is there anything I can do for him at this point? — Worried Pal”
Leaving half-eaten food out for hours at a time waiting for it to be picked up by someone else when it could easily be picked up by the person who left the food is gross. Gross gross gross.
She’s “fresh out of high school” and that might be a key factor here. Maybe she’s not used to having to be responsible for her own actions. Now that she’s with Dave, Polly thinks that he will be her new cleaner/maid/Sugar Daddy. A true Princess.
The bad news – or maybe it’s good news – is that your friend is aware of the situation. At some point it may get too much for him to deal with and that feeling of being “love sick” might be cured and he’ll tell her how he really feels about the food situation.
You’ve done what you can and should not confront her. So, you continue to do you and be his friend because he’ll need you.