“My husband “Steve” and I have been married for eight years, and together for a total of 12. He’s 31; I’m 28.
Five years ago I cheated on him with my best friend. My husband found out about it and I came clean about everything. I haven’t seen or been in touch with the other person since then.
For the past five years my life has been a living hell. Steve goes through my phone, texts, calls, emails, social media and mail. I just ignore this because I have nothing to hide.
If I’m talking on the phone I’m instantly accused of talking to “my boyfriend.” He has been emotionally and verbally abusive, and has been physically abusive twice. When I suggested marriage counseling he said I “wasn’t worth it, never have been and never will be.” He’s “thrown me out” on numerous occasions and then once I pack up my personal belongings he becomes loving and caring toward me.
Two weeks ago he sent me a text saying I had two hours to get home or he was throwing all of my stuff in the front lawn. When I got home he had all of my stuff packed.
I moved out. Steve and I have talked, but he still refuses marriage counseling. He wants me to move back in, says he loves me and doesn’t want me to leave. He said he will give me a month to move back in or he’s filing for divorce.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost all but one of my friends and have lost contact with most of my family because of Steve, so I don’t have many people to talk to. I know the easiest thing would be to go back to him, but I just feel in a few months everything will go back to the way it was. — Walking on Eggshells”
I’m going to defer this question to my friend Smeagol. Let’s hear what he has to say: