Monthly Archives: October 2015

“Jaw With John” – Wife Has A Funny View On Being Unfaithful

My wife of 10 years dropped a bomb on me last night. She told me that she’s interested in having sexual relations with a female friend of hers. She is seeking my approval.

She feels that doing this with someone of the same sex doesn’t constitute being unfaithful. I don’t know if I’m being overly conservative here but I strongly disagree.

I’ve known she was curious for a little while now but I was totally not expecting this.

We have two young children and I’m very worried that her curiosity might put our family at risk. We had a long discussion last night but it seems she’s already made up her mind and won’t reason with me.

Is there anything I could say that would convince her otherwise?

I’m eager for your take on this. — Scared Dad

Dear Scared:

Your wife seems to have a funny view of infidelity. By her reasoning, Luke’s Dad on The O.C. wasn’t being unfaithful because it was with another man. Fuzzy logic.

She seems pretty determined and there are no words I can put together that would help you convince her otherwise.

The smart ass in me is suggesting you tell her that since you are not attracted to other men that you would like to be with another woman if she gets to. That would definitely rile her up and maybe expose her to the idea that this is truly dumb and sophomoric.

The realist in me says to seek counseling and explore these thoughts and desires with a professional and maybe then she will see the error in her thinking.

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“Jaw With John” – Never Too Late For Education

I am 54 years old and my problem is that I want to go to college, but because of my financial situation and other problems I am having trouble getting there.

I always wanted to continue going to school while I was younger but I have three children and two have had very serious health issues. My husband also has had quadruple-bypass open-heart surgery, so as you can see I have had a very busy life.

Is it too late for me? Please let me know what you think. — Hopeful

Dear Hopeful:

It’s never too late!

I had a class or two with a much older woman who was pursuing her undergraduate degree – she graduated by the way – and I don’t see why you can’t do the same. Just look at a guy like Larry Crowne in Larry Crowne. Yes, he’s fictional but I’m still going to make my point. He went back to school after getting fired from his department store job he had for years and years. And you know where he started? Community college.

Hell, even guys like Jeff Winger and Leonard Rodriguez went back to school to get degrees. So, if society is telling you anything it’s that since it’s happened in movies and television, it can happen to you.

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“Jaw With John” – Trim The Fat, In This Case It’s Your Family

I have been dating an obese woman for two months. We are both 30. We have created incentives for each other (I’m actually a little underweight) and we are both living more healthfully.

I introduced her to my family. She loved them, but the next day they voiced their disapproval to me. They said some horrible and insulting things about her weight.

I didn’t realize how shallow my family was, and I am trying to figure out how to persuade them not to be.

I keep telling myself someone’s weight can change, but the personality can’t. I would be lying if I said I was satisfied with my girlfriend’s weight, but she is doing great and has lost 25 pounds. Should I keep those comments to myself until I can prove them wrong? Is it horrible that I now keep her away from my family with no explanation? — Wondering

Dear Wondering:

Focus on losing that weight and enjoying each others company. Don’t worry about your family and their feelings toward her. And for damn sure don’t tell her about those comments. The last thing you need in your life is someone making a negative out of a positive.

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“Jaw With John” – Lazy Son Needs Some Motivation

My son is 27 and lives with me because I have MS. I can do most things for myself but I have no balance and use a walker. My son primarily takes the trash out.

Our house has a bonus room in back where he and his friends can hang out so that we have our own space.

My problem is that it takes nagging him many times to get him to do something that I can’t do, and I am sick of it.

His father was the same way. When we were married I did all of the simple maintenance because it was easier, but now I can’t.

I don’t want to make him feel he has to take care of me. He needs his own life. He has a job he loves but does not make that much money. Should I kick him out? — Disabled Mom

Dear Mom:

He doesn’t make much money and you want to kick him out? This may cause him to pursue a higher-paying job or he could flourish in the job he currently has and succeed. OR he could end up right back in that extra room because he ran out of money.

Another option would be to charge him rent so that you could hire some help to do those things around the house. If he doesn’t like it then he can do those things for you in exchange for living there. If he was a good son he would do those things after maybe the second time asking…

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“Jaw With John” – Son-In-Law Isn’t Promoted, In-Laws Frustrated

Our daughter has been married for 10 years to a wonderful guy. They’re great parents. So what’s our problem?

Well, our son-in-law has a college education and a very good job with one of the best firms in our area.

He has applied for a promotion four times in the past 14 months and has been turned down every time. He is frustrated and unhappy about this.

We (of course) cannot be there at his job and see his eight years of performance (which seem to be very good). But we can see that he takes his job very lightly. He dresses extremely casually every day — T-shirts with no collar, ill-fitting jeans, etc.

Last fall, he attended an out-of-town conference and took off one full day to lie by the hotel pool and “relax.” Unfortunately he chose to post this on social media. He has talked to other employees against the company line. His grammar is often incorrect and his manners can be sloppy.

He is a truly fine man with a good heart but doesn’t seem to project this at work.

There is absolutely no way we can discuss this with him. We are hoping he would recognize himself if he saw this in your column. It is hard to sit by and watch his upset and unhappiness at promotion time. — Concerned In-Laws

Dear Concerned:

Promotions are earned. They are not handed out because someone has been there long enough. At least that’s how it works at most companies.

I hate to be the one tell you this but I doubt he’s going to find this and read your plea for change and then have an epiphany because he realizes that he needs to change. Not going to happen.

Maybe it will take a 5th time failing to be promoted that he will recognize that a change in attitude is in order. But this isn’t your battle. It’s his.

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