“Jaw With John” – Living Alone But Not Lonely

I’m having some difficulties with my siblings. Recently I’ve moved into my own place. I love it.

The problem is that because I live alone, my siblings believe that I’m somehow lonely. They keep trying to get me to go on blind dates with people they know, and saying stuff like, “You should meet this guy, he’s great.” Or, “How can you spend so much time by yourself? When are you going to have kids? You’ll make a great mom.”

I’ve been turning them down so often that some of them have shifted to, “You should meet this girl I know,” which is even more annoying because I’m straight.

The thing of it is, my parents got divorced when I was a preteen and ever since then, I took care of other people — my younger siblings, my older sibling’s children, and a parent who was ill.

For the first time in my life, the only person I have to take care of is me, and I’m in no rush to change that. Does that seem selfish? — Solitary and Happy Sister

Dear Sister:

Selfish? Nah. You seem content and happy with who you are. In turn, people who are happy in relationships – your siblings perhaps – feel the need to impose their version of happiness onto you. In their eyes if you are not experiencing the same happiness as them, then you are not happy – ergo they keep trying to set you up on dates and meet people. It’s annoying but they are only looking out for you and want you to be happy.

Tell them what you just told me. You are cherishing this newfound solitude and want to enjoy it before rushing into anything.

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