Monthly Archives: August 2015

“Jaw With John” – Close Friends’ Ex Ain’t Gon’ Give It To Her, Happiness That Is

My close friend has recently moved to another state to start a new life and “experience better prospects” romantically.

After one week, she’s informed me that she is romantically communicating with her ex again via text. He is married with three children and happens to live in this new city where she has moved. While she knows that I don’t approve of the relationship because it will never lead to a happy and fulfilling life for her, I understand that she has moved to a new city with no other girlfriends to talk to and bounce things off of.

Do I just patiently listen to her romantic tales while I know this is just one more round on the emotional carousel, or should I be honest and tell her these conversations make me feel bad and they’re exhausting? It kills me to see her doing this again. She could do so much better. — Disenchanted Optimist

Dear Disenchanted:

“Happens to live in this new city where she moved”? Yeah, and my girlfriend is Jennifer Lawrence.

You need to tell her that her ex is just that, her ex. No more pussyfooting around. She needs to hear that and then move on and actually pursue better, and actually available, romantic prospects.

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“Jaw With John” – So, You Failed To Create A Love Triangle

My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years and I love him, but things have seemed boring for a while now. A guy from work started flirting with me. We exchanged numbers. I told him I had a boyfriend, but we still talked.

One night he called me, upset about his past relationship. He had been drinking, so I was worried and went to his place to cheer him up. We ended up making out (that was not my intention), but I started to feel wanted again.

Fast-forward two weeks and he doesn’t talk to me anymore. We used to text multiple times a day and he would call me every day.

I’m just confused as to what this guy wants from me. I also want to know if it’s worth it to mess up what I have with my boyfriend by breaking it off with him to try things with this new guy, who doesn’t want a relationship. To be honest, I only wanted something physical with this guy anyway. I’m just not sure what to do. — Confused

Dear Confused:

He’s not into you.

I recently met a girl who was awesome in every way. We clicked on our senses of humor, likes & dislikes etc. Then the conversations and messages were spaced further and further apart until they stopped altogether. I got the hint that she wasn’t interested anymore and I deleted her number. You’re also clearly not that invested in your boyfriend since you go around making out with co-workers so it’s probably time to cut him loose as well.

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“Jaw With John” – There’s A Card Shark Circling Your Game

I am a member of a group of people who get together to play cards. I have observed a person who plays cards with us (but is not a member of the group) cheating.

The subject of cheating came up once, and I tried discreetly (obviously too discreetly) to let this person know I observed the cheating. It had no impact. It appears this person is a friend of a member of the group.

I realize there is nothing I can do about the situation except learn to deal with it so that it no longer upsets me. Any advice? — Card Sharp

Dear Sharp:

You “realize there is nothing [you] can do about the situation”? That is 100% untrue.

If someone is cheating, regardless of who they are friends with, then you need to call attention to it. Either do it discreetly with the cheater and let them know that you know and tell them to stop or do it when you catch them in the act at the card game.

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“Jaw With John” – Don’t Let Him Be The Reason For The Teardrops On Your Guitar

My office hired a new employee two months ago that I’m very attracted to.

We have become great friends and enjoy the other’s company greatly.

I’ve never been so drawn to someone. I feel like a lovesick kid! I think about him all the time and find reasons to be around him, such as running errands with him or going out to lunch together. The problem is that he has a girlfriend, but I don’t know how serious it is because he’s never shown me a picture of her or mentioned her name.

I’ve tried to tell myself to get over him and move on, but my affections grow stronger every day. He’s everything I’ve been looking for in a romantic partner and we have such a strong connection. I’ve kept my attraction for him hidden because I don’t want to make him feel awkward, but it’s getting harder to do. What should I do? — Heartsick

Dear Heartsick:

“She hardly ever thought of him. He had worn a place for himself in some corner of her heart, as a sea shell, always boring against the rock, might do. The making of the place had been her pain. But now the shell was safely in the rock. It was lodged, and ground no longer.”
– T.H. White
The Once and Future King

Your situation reminds me of a time in my collegiate life when I would go down to the front desk when a certain girl was working there and get trash bags for my room. By month’s end I had a surplus of bags and nothing to fill them with, a date with her included.

Unrequited love is a fool’s errand. A door that can only be walked through one way. But you don’t know where the door is.

It sucks.

I once had a thing for a co-worker and we got along well and she seemed as genuinely interested in me as I was in her. She mentioned, in passing, that she had dated some people but never truly gave the impression that she was seeing anyone. So one day, as the day was drawing to a close I saw her and decided that I would ask her out. I did. It turns out she had a boyfriend, but hey, at least I tried. You owe yourself that much. Ask him if he’d like to see you outside of work. The worst thing he can do is confirm your suspicions.

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“Jaw With John” – Taking Care of Dog Business

My husband and I have lived in our current house for many years.

The retired couple across the street bought a darling puppy about 15 months ago. Their yard, landscaping and lawn are incredibly beautiful. The neighbor keeps it looking like a golf course. (The rest of the neighborhood is a lot more casual.)

He started walking his puppy across the street to our strip of grass below a hedge at the end of our yard. He and the puppy would walk back and forth a number of times and then return back home. He is actually using our lawn strip for a doggy potty!

He collects the droppings and takes them away, but now other leashed dogs become interested in the same area of our lawn. They sniff around and many spray and leave their own scent, drawing yet more dogs.

How can I approach this without stuttering or hurting feelings? I have no clue. — Neighbor

Dear Neighbor:

You can put up a sign on your lawn stating these feelings.

But as a dog lover, walker, owner I can tell you that if my dog needs to go on a lawn I let him. I’ll try and obey the signs, if they are up, but if he has to go, he’ll go.

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