“I have a 23-year-old granddaughter who has been living with a 25-year-old man for over five years. He doesn’t seem to feel he should get engaged or plan their marriage.
I know she is upset about not getting a ring and approached him about it a few months ago. He said he would get her a ring but wanted to wait until he had saved enough money for it. But time goes on and still no ring!
He treats her well and to my knowledge her only complaint is that he will not commit to engagement or marriage. His parents lived together for seven years before they got married, so that might be one reason why he hasn’t made the commitment.
I’ve been married for 60 years and feel that if you are going to live with someone you need to make a commitment to marry soon — and not several years down the road. Am I old-fashioned?
Should I let her continue to be “used” by him? I feel that the lack of commitment doesn’t show her respect. Perhaps his argument is that he is committed — by providing for her as she continues her education. They live as man and wife without the ring and marriage. I know that it bothers her, but she continues to hang in there. — Disappointed”