“My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years and have a 9-year-old child.
My boyfriend has three kids from a previous relationship. His ex also had another child a few months younger than mine (from a one-night stand).
Naturally that child thinks my boyfriend is its father and calls him “Dad.”
My boyfriend and his family provide for this child financially just as they do for his biological children. No one has ever mentioned or explained this to the child.
I can’t help but resent my boyfriend for claiming this child, and he has also made it clear that he doesn’t want any more children because he has “five” already.
When is the appropriate time or age to tell this child the truth? Or am I being selfish, since my boyfriend is the only father the child knows? — Truth Hurts”
Your boyfriend will tell the child that he is “not the father”, as Maury would say, when he is ready and when he feels it is the right time for the child. He’s being supportive and helping provide for two families here and you’re hung up on this kid – who’s not his – calling him “Dad”. Grow up. Support your boyfriend. He’s trying to do the right thing.