“Jaw With John” – ‘What if?’ Is Driving Him Nuts

My wife and I have had (and continue to have) a great marriage of almost 40 years. We are both in our 60s, with two grown children and two grandchildren.

Lately I have developed a nagging curiosity about my wife’s relationship with a boyfriend she was apparently very much in love with before I met her.

She only briefly discussed him with me a few years ago, after his name came up at a social gathering. There has never been any contact with him during our marriage, so why do I wonder about this now? — Just Curious

Dear Curious:

“What if?” That’s what’s driving you now. Those two simple words are taking control of your brain and your thoughts causing you to worry about something that clearly isn’t a problem. How do I know it’s not a problem? Because you’ve been married for almost 40 years! Unless your wife is going all Diane Lane in Unfaithful – which I doubt – then you have nothing to worry about.

There are two things you can do: 1. Let this question eat at you as you ponder and wonder “what might have been?” or “why did they…?” until it drives you nuts. OR 2. Straight up ask your wife WTF happened to that guy.

Maybe he died. Maybe she moved. Maybe he cheated on her. Maybe she met you.

I recommend doing #2.

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