“Jaw With John” – All About Steve, Who Sucks

I am a 56-year-old woman stuck in a once-good relationship that has turned stale and neglectful.

My partner “Steve” and I met 14 years ago during a rough time for both of us. (I was in a bad long-term relationship and he had just survived cancer.) We seemed to have so much in common and got along so well. Now he seems aloof and disinterested, sometimes spending nights away from home with no explanation.

I get so depressed about this that I could spend an entire day home in bed just thinking about it. I thought about asking his family for help, but I fear they wouldn’t be supportive.

Steve is a great provider. But I keep wondering: How can I get him to stay? How can I get him to stop walking away? Any advice? — Neglected

Dear Neglected:

As soon as you said Steve I thought of The Waterboy and Bobby Boucher’s mom saying this: “[W]hile I’m sittin’ here all day with nobody to keep me company, except Steve?”

Except you don’t even have Steve to keep you company. Steve is gone and you’re stuck laying in bed saying “Woe is me!” Stop doing that! It’s not healthy! He’s dropping hints that he doesn’t want to be around you. Like, HUGE HINTS. Have you tried asking him upfront what his deal is? Regardless, I don’t think this is going to end well. He seems to be halfway completely out the door, literally. It’s best to confront him and see where this all ends. Maybe there’s a silver lining, maybe not, but you need to talk to him to find out.

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One thought on ““Jaw With John” – All About Steve, Who Sucks

  1. Dear Neglected,

    Concentrating on how you can make other people do things like not leave or keep caring is about control not love. Look into support like Codependency Anonymous (CODA) or perhaps check out the book “Codependent No More.” These resources really helped me nurture relationships with people who wanted them. 🙂

    Cheers!

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