“My fiance and I are planning to get married over Memorial Day weekend. It’ll be a relatively small family-oriented affair — held in the same location as my father’s memorial last year.
My older sister is in my wedding party. She and her husband have been together most of my life (they married when I was 9 years old).
My sister informed me yesterday that her husband and my 12-year-old nephew may need to miss most of the festivities because he has a baseball tournament that weekend.
They also missed my father’s memorial for the same reason.
Amy, I understand that guests have other priorities, but I feel incredibly hurt that such a special occasion is being trumped by a baseball tournament. I feel it’s teaching my nephew skewed priorities. I come from a family of athletes; I understand juggling practice and playing with other priorities.
Should I address this directly or accept it? I don’t want to be an egocentric bride, but this hurts. Please share your perspective. — Disappointed Bride”
Let me get this straight – you chose one of the busiest weekends of the year to hold your wedding knowing that your nephew and brother-in-law missed your father’s memorial that same weekend the year before. You clearly knew that this was a possibility. I mean, they missed a memorial service over baseball…c’mon.
These types of tournaments are held throughout the year on various holiday weekends with various sports: soccer & Thanksgiving, basketball & Christmas, Football & New Year’s etc etc etc. You should know this since you, allegedly, come from “a family of athletes”.
I don’t believe that this is teaching your nephew to skew his priorities at all. He is obviously doing something that he loves and not doing it out of malice toward you, he’s 12. If you demand that they both be there then that’s a surefire way to make your nephew hate you. I believe you should address it but delicately. Mention that you’re disappointed that they might not be there (yeah, you said might, this could all change and everything could be fine) and hope that if they can make it that you’d obviously love to have them.