“Jaw With John” – You Can’t Walk Over Burned Bridges

I was married over 40 years. My ex-wife and I had numerous problems throughout our marriage. I left several times but always went back. The last time I left, I filed for divorce.

It’s been a few years and I am starting to miss her. We talk briefly every once in a while, mostly because of our grandchildren.

I am currently living with a divorced woman. We get along great but never talked of marriage.

Lately my live-in mentioned getting married. It has hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t want to. I want to go back to my ex. I don’t know if she’ll take me back. If my current relationship falls apart, I have no place to go, but I don’t care.

I don’t know how to go about talking to my ex about going back to her. I don’t even know if she will take me back.

I am currently not seeing a psychiatrist, though I have in the past and will probably do so again. — Torn

Dear Torn:

You left, now you want to go back? People always want what they can’t have. This is one of those situations.

You have a history of coming and going soooooo I doubt your ex-wife will listen to you or want you back. Just a shot in the dark there.

As for your current live-in, you need to tell her up front what you want out of this relationship. If she leaves and you have no place to go you said you’d be fine? Uhh, what? I don’t think you know exactly what you want.

You’re scared shitless that your live-in wants to tie you down and you want to run back to what you know and are comfortable with. CTFO, take some “me time” and figure out what you want.

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